This page cannot be found

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The page you are looking for may have been removed, deleted, hacked, joined the witness protection program, suffered an injury, is away on vacation or won the lottery and went to a better server. Perhaps it discovered oil, is playing hide-and-seek, protesting or - simply - teleported.[1].


If you desperately need this page to be found, please try any of the following, the first and the last solutions, all of them at the same time or none of them:

  • Look behind you: if any object is not where it is supposed to be, there is a certain probability that it is anywhere, where it is not supposed to be, which is - somewhere else.
  • Purchase an atomic computer: if the page is invisible, an atomic computer may be more sensitive towards the rays of light that do not come from that page.
  • Try using Google Chrome. If that's what you are doing right now, then you can change to Internet Explorer, only you should be warned that this will diminish any possibility to find the page, if there is still any of it left.

HTTP Error 404 - File or Document is exactly where it should be, but you should not be the one to be looking at it, as it is just not meant to be.
Internet Information Service Announcement paid for by the Shakespearean To be or not to be company that actually is.


Technical Information (for those hard of reading)

  • Proceed to tracking down someone who can help you to upgrade to a new Microsoft anti-virus program without getting flooded by spam.


This may or may not be Error 404, in which case, the broken robot that cannot fix itself may or may not be of any help to you. But let's presume that it is the better outcome, because otherwise we will have to do something about it.


After performing such pointless actions for several hours, you will need to take away your frustration. So...


As a last resort, you can also try attaching a picture of the website you are looking for to a piece of paper, writing the name of what exactly you are looking for after a word such as "Missing" or "Lost" written in big characters. Don't forget to enter as much information as you can about the lost page, its family life and its last known whereabouts.

  • Photocopy the page and stick it up anywhere you think people might care for it.
  • Be sure to include information about a reward if you wish to have your fliers noticed and not just have vandals draw silly mustaches over the faces in the picture.
  • The reward should be a generous sum of cash, or something really expensive, like an iPad, because people love money almost as much as they love winning hi-tech gadgets they cannot afford themselves. If you cannot afford an iPad, just put on the flier a picture of the box the iPad came in, and reference the picture as being the prize.


Should you still be finding the urge to find the page you are looking for, you may want to contact the following people and ask for some tips on finding it.



If none of the information provided has resolved the issue, then we urge you to try refreshing the page, as it definitely won't make the situation any worse. Try calling the page's mother. Maybe she knows where the page went?

  • Ask yourself if the page is over 18 years old? Not to mention, how long has it been missing? If the page has been missing for more than 48 hours, you should have reported it to your local authorities by now.
  • Over 94,000 cases of kidnapped pages go unnoticed every year due to people not reporting pages missing. Are you number 94,001? You should be ashamed of yourself, and you are really beginning to annoy everyone by asking questions rather than doing something about it.
  • People are beginning to suspect you as having something to do with the pages disappearance. Evidence clearly shows you had visited the page on several occasions, so people wanna ask you some questions now. Like what kind of relationship did you have with the page and for how long do you know it already?
  • If you want a ransom, then hurry up and make your demands clear to somebody, because no webpage should be taken away against it's rights by someone who has no self respect or dignity to log onto another webpage that offers applications on finding employment to make your own money by yourself. Instead you pick on poor innocent and defenseless little HTML codes that form a pretty visual for everyone to enjoy.

Now please, go away and don't come back till you think about what you have done, and are ready to apologize.


References[edit]

  1. ↑ The Quantum Aspect of Internet pages, written and published anonymously in 1801
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