The Eventual End of Uncyclopedia
The Eventual End of Uncyclopedia refers to the end of the famous content-free encyclopedia that you are reading right now. The precise date of the wiki's demise is unknown, but experts agree it's a good idea to be prepared nevertheless.
It is a question that comes up from time to time: what is the true purpose and when will it end? Most people try not to think about it, as severe symptoms are having your head asplode and screaming AAAAAAAAA! and acting out more in-jokes[1].
Millions of scientists predict theories and fail with them. But which theory will be the one? Which one?
Origin[edit]
The eventual end of Uncyclopedia came about when some terrible user got banned and said to himself, "when will this stupid thing end?" Then he thought his question over, and the question came upon scientists. When will Uncyclopedia end? What will the cause of the untimely demise be? Scientists began doing research, but came with no conclusion due to being distracted with making blonde jokes and eating Cheetos the entire time.
How to prepare yourself for the end[edit]
Get a pan, and put it on your head. Then put on a hockey mask and then put on snow gloves. After you've done that, huddle in the nearest corner with your laptop (if you don't have a laptop, get one!) and nervously go on Uncyclopedia. If you are actually doing this, then maybe you should seek professional help.
Another way to protect yourself is to become a monkey. Since monkeys rarely edit Uncyclopedia[2], you will most probably not be safe this way.
Public reaction[edit]
Occasionally, you will find some strange guy giving out pamphlets warning of the end. A few websites were made, calling themselves Uncyclopedia II. However,this never really went well due to the fact that the website was sucked by a black hole and was erased from most people's memory.
Michael Jackson was apparently so stressed about Uncyclopedia ending that he took drugs to ease the pain; this resulted in his death. Before he died, he told the press: "If Uncyclopedia ends, I can't live. How else will I find vulnerable preteens online?" It is a sad fact that not only did Uncyclopedia outlive him, but all those preteens did as well (they were expected to become drug addicts and die at an early age).
Uncyclopedia's response[edit]
The most anxious are Uncyclopedia's very own users. "I go on Uncyclopedia every day after school", said a user that preferred to remain anonymous, "Uncyclopedia is my life. Whoever closes it down will die. Well, they'll die once I finish this bag of Doritos".
Many users have spent their entire disk drive backing up all of Uncyclopedia's pages.
Failed predictions[edit]
Originally, scientists theorized that the end of Uncyclopedia would come in the year 1337. This prediction was rapidly discredited upon the discovery that the year 1337 had already came and gone. The same scientists, not yet willing to admit defeat, subsequently recalculated the critical event to take place in 31337. This second prediction was the result of minutes of research, during which the scientists concluded, "If we're going to be wrong, at least we won't be around to see it."
A counter-theory states that, since all good things must come to an end, Uncyclopedia is inherently safe.
A third theory, not being so bold as to get involved in the row the other two theories are having, proposes that the deletion of Uncyclopedia will be an act of a displeased God. Fortunately God appears to be too busy inserting vanity into its sister project Conservapedia to notice.
Some poeple think that once Wikia ends, Uncyclopedia will end too. This theory is incorrect because Uncyclopedia can stay with its smarter sister, the mirror wiki.
Conclusion[edit]
So before you click the "edit" tab, just remind yourself that this won't be around forever. And neither will you be. Of course, Uncyclopedia will most probably outlive you.
Because you'll never know when your final edit will b