Talk:Resume
Aaargh! this article has great potential for silliness, but is missing the gut-level laugh needed to survive and thrive. If I were to rewrite it, I would move just a little to one side...don't go after the obvious. Yes, lying on resumes is a common thing, and kinda funny, but only to a point. Either you lie really big ("I ruled Greece with an iron fist from 1902-1909...wrote The Great Gatsby in six hours and seventeen minutes with one hand tied behind my back" -- oh, I read those or something like 'em somewhere, don't claim 'em) or you go home. It has its limits.
How about thinking up a slightly offbeat purpose for a resume, like you're a Fresh-Off-The-Boat immigrant in your new native land, and you must gain employment and therefore income quickly? Or regular old you is trying to rent an apartment in Trump Towers? What would you say then? (Fuck off, Shandon?) That's how I would approach this article, and I hope it has some value to you.--Shandon 01:11, 2 August 2006 (UTC)
reply[edit]
- I'm trying to do something with it, but it just needs more added to it. I've included a resume I think people can have a lot of fun adding things to, but this part
| Without resume | With resume | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Pimp | Preacher | Al Sharpton |
| Men's room attendant | Senior senator from Idaho | Larry Craig |
| Crack whore | Famous, rich crack whore | Ann Coulter |
| Pedophile | Priest | Pick one at random |
| Village idiot | Anything Daddy wants up to and including President | George W. Bush |
| Intestinal Parasite | Actress/publicity whore | Lindsay Lohan |
| Welfare mother | Talk show host | Oprah Winfrey |
| Chronic masturbator | Video game designer | I don't know any but I'm sure they all are |
| Psychotic | Conservative talk show host | Pick one at random |
| Birthday party clown | Liberal filmmaker | Michael Moore |
| Thief | Enron executive | Pick one at random |
| Crack dealer | Community leader | Al Sharpton |
| Butcher | Surgeon | Pick one at random |
| Homosexual | Interior designer | Your swishy cousin from Fire Island |
It just doesn't look like it fits with the page, maybe re-write it in a different way without the borders on it? --Maniac1075 04:44, March 31, 2010 (UTC)