Robin
Robin was the sidekick of Batman in the fight against psychotic clowns, bird men, catholics and a whole host of other lunatics. He is considered one of the rarest Pokémon as the evolved form of Christopher Robin. Robin came to prominence in 1940 in Detective Comics #38, clad in red, green and yellow and wearing a kooky mask.
Robin Roll Call[edit]
The First One[edit]
Dick Grayson was a circus orphan, abandoned by his parents for being born with tiny wings that sprouted from his shoulder blades. When he wore a regular t-shirt, one couldn't notice them but sadly, Dick had to wear skin tight acrobat outfits that showed off his deformities.
Filled with pity for the orphaned mutant, Bruce Wayne offered to let Dick Grayson live with him. He later paid to have Grayson's wings removed so he could live a normal life, but he preferred the attention it got him and kind of liked dodging angry mobs.
Dick Grayson fought crime with Batman for twenty years. Not only that but he formed and was the leader of the Teen Titans with Wonder Girl, Kid Flash, and Aqualad.
Dick realized that at age thirty-nine, he could use a new costume, with pants. The martial and escape artist formerly known as Robin was now Nightwing.
The Second One[edit]
“Why you look positively anemic! Growing boys need lots of iron in their diet. *Thwack!* *Crack!* *Crunch!* Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!”
Jason Todd grew up hard on the streets of Gotham. He never knew his parents and punk, he didn't need to! Yeah times were hard but Todd did what he had to do to survive! Jason Todd was mostly a street thug. He did random odd jobs like three card monty, breaking and entering and boosting hubcaps.
Todd was so hardcore, he even tried to steal the hubcaps from the Batmobile! Batman caught him in the act and gave Todd a beating that would've put the the Mad Hatter in traction for five years. Todd took the beating and shocked Batman by getting back to his feet.
Batman then offered to train Jason Todd as the new Robin. When news of this reached Dick Grayson, he cried and challenged Todd to a fight. Todd won and Grayson was forced to never call himself Robin again.
So what happened to Jason Todd if he was so damned tough?
He's dead. Some other comic readers will try to tell you Jason Todd is up and around living again. Those people are full of shit, so be sure to tell them so. By the way, you wanna know who killed him? You did. Yup, Batman fanboys like you had the option to let Jason Todd live or die. Realizing that this would be the only time they could commit a crime and get away with it, the fanboys let Jason Todd die in an explosion that was set up by The Joker.
Scratch that, he's back, albeit as a psycho vigilante called Red Hood, who's bat fuck insane, and is worse than Superboy Prime at being brought back.
The Third One[edit]
“Well, time to get more meat for the grinder!”
“That bastard locked me up in his cave and made me eat rats, that can't possibly be kosher!”
Tim Drake is the third person to assume the mantle of Robin. He is also the most flagrantly homosexual, not that there's anything wrong with that. He's also Jewish. Shalom!
Tim Drake had a crush on Robin when Dick Grayson was wearing the pointy boots. Whenever Tim could, he would watch news footage of Batman and Robin and stare at the screen. It was also during Tim's childhood that he discovered a love of acrobatics. He found old tape of the Aristocrats and became obsessed with Dick Grayson's dreamy thighs.
When Grayson assumed his role of Nightwing and Jason Todd was blown to bits, Tim Drake broke into stately Wayne manor and stole the Robin costume. Batman, who was asleep in the Bat Cave allowed Tim to keep the costume because he wasn't interested in having another partner and was tired of looking at the little green tights.
Alfred convinced Batman that Tim Drake should be given a chance to fight crime with Batman. Batman agreed because it was a rare "I'm not a giant douchebag" week. From then on the Dynamic Duo has been fighting crime ever since.
By himself Drake has beaten up The Penguin, thwarted Joker's plans to destroy Gotham City twice, dismantled the Cult of Kobra, found the Iraqi weapons of mass destruction (destroying them before the American Army could report them as evidence to the U.N. weapons inspectors), appeared on Oprah five times, convinced the Mad Hatter to commit suicide, found the male pattern baldness gene, and cured male pattern baldness. And he did it all while attending Yeshiva.
Wayne and Drake didn't always get along. Tim and Bruce would argue every other month. Because robin would not put out. One month (September 2005), Tim got so angry he moved out of Wayne Manor and into the next city. Three months later, Wayne apologized and Tim moved back into the Manor. A week later, Drake's father was murdered, his girlfriend Spoiler died and his best friend Superboy died in a freakish B.D.S.M. accident with his girlfriend Wonder Girl. Oddly enough, rather than pine over the loss of his girlfriend, Tim spent the next two years obsessively trying to re-clone Superboy. Rumors of a gay fixation on the boy of steel are unconfirmed, but the Titans all agree that Robin really wanted to give Superboy his batarang. HARD.
Drake continued to patrol the streets of Gotham and lead the Teen Titans, until Batman got blown up or something. Dick Grayson took over as Batman and fired Drake, which made Tim become an even bigger Emo-douche than before. Tim decided he couldn't let go of being Robin, but decided that if he put the word "Red" in front of Robin, no one would know the difference. Now, aside from a lawsuit from a famous restaurant company, Tim is Red Robin and obsessively looking for his dead adopted daddy.
The Fourth One[edit]
Stephanie Brown was the daughter of a throwaway Batman villain named Pagemaster or something. She hated the life she had to endure because of her father's illegal activities.
As an act of revenge on her father, Steph took to leaving milk, meats and vegetables out to rot. She soon donned a costume and began calling herself the Spoiler. Not content to ruin her own food, she took to breaking and entering and spoiling other people's food.
Since a crime that petty was beneath Batman, he sent Tim Drake to capture her. Tim and Steph fought and then fell in love. They had five date/fights before they revealed their identities to each other. But many considered the relationship to be no more than a sham, with Robin using her as his "beard" to quench rumors of his supposed homo-sexuality.
As previously mentioned, Tim and Bruce Wayne had a spat and Tim stormed out of Wayne Manor. Because she was the closest teen he could find, Batman chose Stephanie to replace Tim.
She got to be Robin for about three months. During those three months she got yelled at by Batman, rejected by the Teen Titans and was fired for fighting in a gang war. WHOOO! What a great character! Oh! And she also died. But then she got better because the D.C.U. gods decided retcons were in this season.
The Fifth One[edit]
God-damn it, another one? Damian Wayne is the homicidal bastard groin-spawn of Batman and Talia Al Ghul. Its unknown if Bats and Talia actually had sex after beating up some gangsters, if she date-raped Bats, or if she just stole his man-jam from a nocturnal emission and grew the little brat in a test tube. One way or another, despite having only known Talia for about five years (stupid comic book time line), Bats has a 12 year old son, who loves to kill villains, innocent people and his adopted brother Timmy.
Batman doesn't much like Damian after he tries and kills Tim, and finally puts the kid in a box and tosses him off the bat-train with a note for Talia saying "It's your fucking problem now bitch".
But after Batman dies or gets lost in time, or some bullshit that even the DC editors can't figure out, Talia mails the kid off to Dick Grayson and with another note saying, "I swear to god, if you don't take him, I'm going to put his head in the river and give him brain damage like Barbara Bush did to her kids".
So Dick took the kid, fired Tim Drake as Robin and decided the most logical thing to do with a psychopath was make them Robin. After all, it worked so well for Jason Todd, right? What could possibly go wrong? Oh yeah, whine like a spoiled bitch, try and fight the other guys who were Robin for no reason what so ever and oh yes, Damian's dead. It was said he was killed while trying to save the world, but actually Jason Todd got so pissed of with this spoiled bitch he shot him nine times.
There's a lesson here. If you are a superhero or a man dressed up as a type of animal fighting crime, if you want a kid who hasn't reached puberty yet and make him a sidekick in tights, it's better you don't give a psychopath the role.
Powers[edit]
None. All Robins, like his mentor/partner Batman are or were (since two of them are dead and one has a different superhero identity now) regular human beings. One could argue the wings young Dick had as a boy count as a power, but they don't. Still, the Robins could hold their own in a fight. All Robins were trained in every one of the martial arts and in the sciences, able to kill you with a Bo staff just as easily as a banana peel.
Dick Grayson and Tim Drake are skilled detectives. Dick Grayson was a top level acrobat. Tim Drake knows every passage from the Torah and is a certified public accountant (CPA). Jason Todd was a brilliant thief and locksmith. Stephanie Brown looked really cute in the Robin costume. But all the Robins have the same recurring ability to peek out from behind Batman's cape. (This is probably their most potent superpower of all when crime fighting, as it puts Batman in between them and danger.)
Quotes[edit]
Commonly know to paraphrase things like "HOLY SHIT" and "JESUS CHRIST". Robin was known for his constant use of the word "Batman" at the end of everything he said. Some memorable quotes include.
"Holy Cats Batman!" - Robin in reaction to impending attack
"Gee Wilikers Batman!" - Robin in surprise at a situation
"Wholly Inappropriate Batman!" - Robin after seeing his costume
"Son of a bitch Batman!" - Robin was almost fired for this one after Batman spilled coffee on Robin's crotch
"Wibildy Wiliky Wobble Wip!" - Robin during an epileptic seizure
"Holy Shit Batman!"- this is what got Robin fired, he said it right after Batman hit a hobo with the Batmobile
"Holy diver, you've been gone too long in the midnight sea! Oh what's becoming of me!- Robin in his band the Teen Titans fronting for Dio.
"Holy Guacamole!"- Perhaps robins most famous phrase, what you may not know is that this was when Batman and Robin defeated the evil Mexican gang "los pinguinos" which translates into english: the pinguinos.
"Holy Jihad Batman!" - What Damian accidentally yells having been raised as an assassin to wage holy war against western society.
In Other Media[edit]
- Burt Ward played Dick Grayson in the 1960's Batman television series. This show was known for its stark darkness and unflinching look at vigilantism and police corruption.
- In the 90's animated series Dick is a college student, as the producers, unlike Batman, thought twice about the bad PR from reckless child endangerment; than after the first Robin runs away Batgirl adopts a young stray Tim Drake, until the Joker eventually bites him and gives him rabies.
- Chris O'Donnell portrayed Dick Grayson wearing Tim Drake's clothes in Batman for a Really, Really Long Time and the follow up film, Batman With Nipples (And Crotch Shots!).
- Joseph Gordon-Levitt technically counts, he played an orphaned cop in The White Bread Rises, who wears a regular police uniform and says his name is Robin at the end.
- Robin can't recall the drug trip that is the Teen Titans cartoon and forgot which of the Robins he was during it. In this series, his waifu was Starfire.
- Given the choice no one wants to be Robin, not even Robin himself; except for Eminem, who unlike DC, prefers Batman be black.