Nicki Minaj

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Proof that anyone can get laid, it's a lessies' kind of love.

“If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all”

~ Nicki Minaj (in Stupid Hoe) on Uncyclopedia, probably

Nickie Minaj is considered the greatest role model alive for children and was originally designed as a secret black version of Barbie. Originally planned as an alternative to armor thanks to her abnormal yet very large figure, some kind of "rapper" decided to shift focus of Minaj towards a younger target audience that might even include the current reader. While a select few critics have described her music as rap, most place it right in the middle of the genre known as noise.


During the recession, sales of sex toys were declining hence giving Mattel no choice but to "reinvent" the product. By reinventing, it was thought they could unleash a new type of craze on the world consisting of silicone, a cutdown on clothing and most of all, sex appeal. As for who would be the "test subject", they found some black chick with exactly what they were looking for and given that she thinks she's some kind of Barbie, she was the best match for this project. The next step was to find the worst name possible that could resemble anything close to that of a whore, thus Nicki Minaj was born. The plan worked perfectly with sex increasing by 500%, wanking going up by 750% and most of all, everybody was getting in on the action.

Peek a Boo!.

Nicki's booty[edit]

Nicki Minaj has been accused of using butt pads and silicone to expand her biggest asset(Not that its a problem). Nicki's ass has many unique uses, including a landing pad for helicopters, as well as a giant trampoline. Her ass is also prone to many earthquakes caused by excessive twerking. Rumour has it has that over 30 people are trapped between the cheeks waiting to get out once she takes her next shit.

Musical career[edit]

A music career makes you look like this; but then again, so does a prostitution career.

As sex toys starting selling again, Minaj had to find something else to make money and sodomise the commoner. Her presence had spread rapidly after throwing out inspiring lyrics such as, "You a stupid hoe!" and appealing titles such as "Super Bass". However, some people find her lyrics to be underwhelming especially when compared to her sex appeal whilst others fail to give a flying fuck.

She even used her music career to capitalise on her past as a "human" sex object. One notable instance was teaming up with some guy named Big Sean to talk about her large behind asset and to top it off the title of the song was styled as "A$$", knowing her ass would bring in a near-unlimited amount of cash.

Minaj and her polarizing lyrics have been so effective that Lil' Kim decided to go the Uncyclopedia approach to copying an album by calling it Black Friday. Unfortunately for her, no one cared what they thought, beyond believing that both should both be sent to Guantanamo Bay for an indefinite holiday of a lifetime where they can reconcile. Then unfortunately for us, President Hussein Osama closed the place down so now we're stuck with both of them, giving Minaj something else to diss about.

See also[edit]