Love Shack
“Fred Schneider's there? Count me in!”
The Love Shack is a funky old shack on the outskirts of Atlanta, Georgia, USA. It's a love getaway built under the ownership of the musical pop music band The B-52's in 1989. Fools are ordered to stay away, because love rules at the Lo-o-ove Shack!
Construction[edit]
The Love Shack originated as a design-build project, commissioned by The B-52's. When Grand Master Funk, Nile Rodgers, dropped out of the project, the band retained Was (Not Was), Don Was, to serve as both the architect and general contractor, with Quarryman Fred Flintstone serving as the owners' representative on-site. Ground broke on February 14, 1989. The Love Shack was designed with a tin roof, a front porch, a hallway, a mattress, and copious amounts of glitter. Unfortunately, the design lacked an adequate HVAC system, causing the place to get as hot as an oven whenever frequented by guests. The structural integrity of the premises was questioned by building inspectors when, during a trial run, it was discovered that the whole shack shimmies when everybody's movin' around and around and around and around! Nevertheless, when construction finished on June 27, 1989, the Love Shack became an immediate success with the party-going public.
Getting There[edit]
The owners of the Love Shack provide a shuttle service to help its patrons avoid drinking and driving. The shuttle is a Chrysler that's as big as a whale — it seats about 20. All patrons must use the shuttle to arrive and depart from the Love Shack.
As for the location, the exact whereabouts of the Love Shack are not known, as those who ride as passengers in the shuttle are blindfolded. However, the following is generally known to the public: Somewhere off of the Atlanta highway, there's a faded sign by the side of the road that says 15 miles to the... Love Shack! Also, well, it's set way back in the middle of a field; just a funky old shack.
Getting In[edit]
It is even more difficult to get in to the Love Shack than it is to find it. First, no fools allowed. Second, you must bring your jukebox money if you hope to get in. Third, it's extremely popular and the wait time can often be hours — on any given night, there are folks linin' up outside just to get down! Lastly — and this point cannot be overstated — patrons must bang, bang, bang on the door, baby, to get in. Often they will be commanded to knock a little louder, sugar, even after banging for close to an hour.
Purpose of the Love Shack[edit]
The Love Shack, baby, is a place where we can get together. Encouraged activities at the site include huggin' and a-kissin', dancin' and a-lovin'. Also, everybody's urged to get movin' and groovin' baby. The shack is a small and picturesque area, one used often to smother Athens residents with boredom. They reside in fear of the Shackers, one of whom is known only as "RuPaul", taking in strangers with the promise of spaghetti bolognaise and steamed crab, only to disappoint them with penne arrabiata and rock lobster. In 1993, four non-blonde brave students marched on the shack in an aim to raise money for charity. Some say they lost their soul to the shack.
Fire[edit]
In 2004, alien singer Mo-Dean was commissioned to build an access path to the Love Shack for a very low fee, drafting the blueprints from a top-of-the-range computer (a Hallucinating Pluto). Consequently he spent much time chasing pavements instead of appearing on a UFO, although he invited his fans to donate hot dogs and wine to get him through this challenging task. One December day, one of the cables at the shack accidentally short-circuited and started a fire, causing the establishment to burn down; Mo-Dean fled the scene, with police officers briefly glimpsing him and questioning "Is that you Mo-Dean?"
See also[edit]
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