Jesus' ol' fashioned basket o' endless bread n' fish

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“The bread is potato, the fish is tuna. I must say this is easily Jesus' greatest invention... except the sex, of course.”

~ Anybody other than Oscar Wilde on Jesus' ol' fashioned basket o' endless bread n' fish

One of the prizes on the hit game show Meal or No Meal, Jesus' ol' fashioned basket o' endless bread n' fish is a replica of the basket Jesus used to feed 50 starving ewoks with only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Those ewoks went on to become the French.

Jesus, the basket, and 50 starving Ewoks[edit]

The original basket. When asked how the ewoks ate raw fish, despite raw fish causing ewoks to explode, Jesus was quoted as saying "I'm jesus, lol."

As the story went, every time Jesus gave an ewok a loaf of bread or fish, Optimus Prime would put another loaf/fish in the basket. This went on until all 50 Ewoks were fed and, believing that they were now better than everyone else for having dinner with both Jesus and Optimus Prime, took the land of France from Napoleon Dynamite and started having secks with the ladies of the area, despite being hairy and smelly.

The Invention of Jesus' ol' fashioned basket o' endless bread n' fish[edit]

In 1954, Willy Wonka managed to replicate the basket Jesus used in the scriptures out of nothing except clay, cheese, and a baby Indian corpse. The basket, which had full sentience, turned on its master and ate Wonka's soul when Wonka attempted to use the basket to cheaply produce Wonka-VITE, Wonka's popular drug used to treat erectile dysfunction

Use on Meal or No Meal[edit]

Jesus own brand.jpg

As everyone knows (unless you are STUPID!!!), Jesus' ol' fashioned basket o' endless bread n' fish is one of the most controversial prizes on CBS' hit game show Meal or No Meal. So far, there have been 3 cases where the contestant has received the Jesus' ol' fashioned basket o' endless bread n' fish as their prize:

  • Omgtavvada Wa'Ta'eF (Contestant #36): Omgtavvada accepted The Warlord's offer of a Jesus' ol' fashioned basket o' endless bread n' fish after opening 13 out of the 25 boxes. In his box, it was revealed that there were Two Cows. When Omgtavvada received his prize, he was told that it would only work if he converted to Christianity. Omgtavvada, a strong believer in Chuck Norris knew that renouncing his faith on live television would cause Chuck Norris to come down from the heavens and Roundhouse Kick Omgtavvada in the face, followed by 30,000 year damnation in Chuck Norris' Beard. Omgtavvada refused to convert, so Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicked Omgtavvada in the face for being a dumbass. Omgtavvada is currently facing a 30,001 year damnation in Chuck Norris' beard.
  • Margarette Smooty (Contestant #103): A contestant during Meal or No Meal's week-long special of "Feed the Starving People at Home Instead of Worrying About Some Dude 20,000 Miles Away," Margarette was a resident of Bumblefuck, Louisiana who had 460 children, and was pregnant with children 461 & 346 (she wasn't very good at counting). Margarette managed to open all 24 boxes, and was ecstatic when she discovered her prize, since she was already a Christian. One week later, Margarette was sent to the hospital for mercury poisoning, said to be caused by eating too much seafood.
  • Tom Hanks (Celebrity Contestant #6): While playing for his charity, the Federation for Prevention of Robot Related Wars, Tom called Meal to the warlord when the warlord offered him a Jesus' ol' fashioned basket o' endless bread n' fish. Two weeks later, Tom agreed to act in the holiday movie The Polar Express.