Jeordie White
- You may be looking for Caveman and not even know it!
“You only wish you were me, Trent!”
Jeordie Osbourne White (born June 20, 1971), formerly known by his pseudonym Twiggy Ramirez (derived from Twiggy, a former English model, and Richard Ramirez, a serial killer) now known simply as Twiggy, is an American musician and currently considered the missing link by scientists. He was previously the bassist for A Perfect Circle and Nine Inch Nails. He is also the long-time bassist/guitarist for Marilyn Manson. When he is not on tour, he can be found camped out on George Lucas' lawn, making lightsaber noises.
Personal life[edit]
Though born in New Jersey, he moved to Florida sometime during his childhood. He has three younger brothers. His mother was formerly a cage dancer at a strip club, giving Jeordie the opportunity to meet creepy men she brought home (including Paul Reubens who was more interested in Jeordie than his mother).
Influenced by the likes of the Bee Gees, Frank Sinatra and Michael Jackson, he first picked up a guitar at the age of 13. Although a New Jersey native, he spent the better portion of his youth in the Ft. Lauderdale area, where he quickly embraced South Florida's growing music scene and, by age 15, had joined his first band, The Ethiopians.
Musical career[edit]
Early in his career, White was in an anti-racist glam funk cover band called The Ethiopians, covering songs such as Irene Cara's "Flashdance...What A Feeling". Between 1989 and 1993 White played rhythm guitar, bass and provided backing vocals for Amboog-a-Lard.
(1993-2002) Marilyn Manson[edit]
White met Marilyn Manson in the late 80's while working at a record shop in Broward Mall, Ft. Lauderdale. There the two realized they had much in common, but had yet to work on a musical endeavor. He became an honorary Spooky Kid, and went by the groupie name Gordy White. In March 1993, White took part in Manson's side project Mrs. Scabtree and shared vocal duties with then girlfriend Jessicka. Mr. Jeordie did not join Marilyn Manson and the Spooky Kids until December 1993. White was given the name Twiggy Ramirez, which was derived by taking the name from a English supermodel Twiggy and the surname from the serial killer Richard Ramirez.
During his time with the band he wrote most of the music for Auntie Christ Superstar, almost all of the music for Animals That Are Mechanical and most of the music for Holy Wood.
(2003-2007) After Manson[edit]
Before meeting Trent Reznor, the balding and weight lifting obsessed founder of Nine Inch Nails, Jeordie White did nothing at all. He kind of sat around all day, playing with his bass guitar. He also became an expert at Animal Crossing, a game only people like him enjoy.
Apparently he got good at playing the bass, because he joined a band that people didn't hate. Hahm•Booga•Lard, a Metallica tribute band, thrust Mr. White into the light of popular music and he soon became good enough that such fine musicians as Maynard Keenan and Marilyn Manson plotted to kidnap him.
After weeks of planning and calculating, the hunt was on. Unfortunately for our hero Mr. Keenan, Manson got there first, shoved White in a dress, and sedated him so that he wouldn't protest. Maynard, not used to losing, cried over this for weeks. Jeordie just drooled a lot and spend the next ten years playing for his kidnapper.
One day, Trent Reznor got really bored of not writing any new material whatsoever and decided to go talk to some random people, such as his best friend and mentor Fred Durst and, you guessed it, Jeordie! They discussed the economic state of Madagascar, the future of monopoly and the childhood of Bob Dole. Considering they both are good at making noise, Jeordie gave Trent a CD he wrote. The CD was called With Teeth. Trent instantaneously became jealous, drugged Jeordie and got him to fellate some cows. When Jeordie awoke, dazed and confused with cow poop all over him, Trent told him that he was milking cows and fell asleep. Trent also told him that it was actually he, Trent Reznor, who wrote the CD.
I guess one could say Jeordie White is Nine Inch Nails, but I wouldn't because Trent would beat the shit out of you.
After the T-Rezzy-Rez World Tour, people suspect Jeordie of just sitting on his ass at home. This is, however, far from the truth. His life has completely fallen to shambles since the mighty Mr. Reznor set him free. His story is a tragic one, but it has to be told.
Jeordie used to have a house, but his obsession with Star Wars became so great it took him over. Today you can spot him wearing one of his five Stormtrooper costumes, in his Deathstar shaped tent outside of George Lucas' house.
And, just for the record, he no longer goes by "Twiggy", "Jeordie", or "That Ugly Chick." High Senator Egwedar of the Ninth Galaxy finds these names offensive and degrading to his true, more Star Wars-y title.
Several months prior to the release of Year Zero in 2007, Trent had decided that he was going to schedule another murderous tour to drag several unlucky musicians along on. Knowing that they were the only ones up to the task, Trent phoned Aaron North, Alessandro Cortini, and Josh Freese. He would've just left Jeordie sitting on George Lucas' lawn to rot, but decided that he'd drag him along just in case they got stranded somewhere remote, and needed someone expendable to consume for nourishment.
Knowing nothing of Trent's diabolical plot, Jeordie followed along.
(2008) Return to Manson[edit]
On January 9, 2008 Marilyn Manson posted a bulletin on MySpace confirming that Tim Skold was leaving Marilyn Manson and that Twiggy Ramirez had rejoined the band in his place. For a charming Mommy-Daughter/Son duet, please look up "I Only Want to Be With You" by Twiggy and Twiggy on your favourite music-stealing software.