Harridans

The Harridans came to America to escape prosecution in England. At that time, there was only one church allowed in England, the Angelican Church. The Harridans thought that more churches should be allowed, because the Angelican church was too crowded.

Especially on Sundays.

Coming to America

In 1620 the Harridans sailed to America in a ship called the Mayflower, but they ran into Plymouth Rock. Later, they named their town Plymouth to warn people about this dangerous rock. At first, the Harridans starved to death, because an Indian named Squanto put dead fish on their corn. That was the first Thanksgiving. Then the Indians felt bad and brought the Harridans gifts, so the Harridans ate them. That was the first Christmas.

Early days

Drawing of the Harridan's colony made by a kind of wobbly drawer. Numbers show how many fish they caught in the harbor.

The Plymouth colony struggled to survive, and the colons were seldom full. The Harridans ducked witches, but it did not seem to help. This is how it worked: they put a woman in a chair, and then ducked her. If they didn't duck fast enough the chair hit them in the head, and then the woman had to be a witch. Arthur Miller wrote The Crucible about witch-ducking, but that didn't help either.

Down in Virginia, Sir Phillip Morris invented tobacco, but in Plymouth, the colons used tea instead. All the tea was in China, and to get it the Harridans had to teabag the British because the British controlled the tea roots. This must have confused the Chinese, since they owned the rest of the tea plants. But the British navel strength meant they ruled the seize.

Harridans get reinforced

In 1623 some more people sailed to the New World to become colons. They came on Anne and Little James. History does not tell us how Anne and James liked that, but it almost doubled the Harridans' size. William Bradford was an especially big man among the Harridans. Maybe he quadrupled in size. But history does not tell us that either.

Miles Standish was a famous Harridan who stood for things. He had seven children and got courted when Priscilla married John Alden instead. Arthur Miller wrote The Courtship of Miles Standish to get him off the charge. It was a good thing for Standish that the Harridans did not believe in prosecution.

However, many of the important Harridan men had lots of children. History tells us they labored hard. William Bradford had four children, and when his third child came out, he shouted "Mercy!" so that was her name. When his next one came out, he shouted "Oh shit!" but they named the baby Joseph instead.

Bradford started out as a weaver in Amsterdam, and after coming to Plymouth, he kept on weaving and took up ducking as well. His wives got hold of him anyways.

Influence

Today, the Harridans don't have much influence, as they are all dead.