Girl power

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This thing, when burnt, produces the same amount of power as 6 batteries.

Girl power was the second part of Jonathan Swift's "Modest Proposal" which called for the eating of of male children and the use of female children as an alternate fuel source (but they eat girls as a treat once every 3 hours because they are really sweet and fun to eat).

Advantages of Girl Power[edit]

Girl power is a renewable energy source that, with careful management, is indefinitely sustainable. Transportation costs are low, as females are largely distributed in high demand areas. Females are often regarded as the single largest untapped resource in the world, a fact that proponents often point to.

Environmental Concerns of Girl Power[edit]

Due to the high lipid content of females, early girl power led to significant smog production and was met with harsh criticism from environmental groups. Carbon emissions from traditional girl power plants are often slightly higher than coal fired plants per kilowatt hour and heat pollution is comparable to nuclear plants.

End of Girl Power[edit]

While both ideas were initially praised as a viable solution to the population problem, the concept of girl power lost favor in 1945 when Hitler's acts sort of put burning people in a bad light. With half of Swift's check on population growth gone, the food shortages led to the price of male children skyrocketing while the female baby market collapsed. China and India were hit so hard that people began leaving their unsold female children by the side of the road to be picked up for free. But they may do it again in ooooooh, saaaay... 5 years...

Modern Girl Power Movement[edit]

In recent years, rising gas prices led to a revival of the girl power movement. The US Department of Energy founded to help educate the public about new technologies that promise clean girl power as a solution to the energy crisis and a curb to pollution. Unfortunately, due to repeated hacking of the site by unknown groups, the site is often vandalized and replaced with a poorly built argument for woman's suffrage. BURN GIRLS 4 POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See also[edit]