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Hey, you here alone? Good. Sure there's nobody else around? OK, then we'll begin. Contained in this article are details on how to access, edit and beet off (with a fresh beet, don't use an old one) on some of the most highly guarded information known to man: ie. that contained on Uncyclopedia. Only read on if you're sure you can handle the unadulterated secrecy and have the hacking skills of a lumberjack. Still interested? Well, OK...OH SHIT...FBI!
- Step 1: Go to https://uncyclopedia.com.
- Step 2: Go to one of the following pages:
- Special:Listusers/sysop and select a random name from the list, any one that takes your fancy.
- Step 3: Click the 'edit' tab from the top toolbar.
- Step 4: Select all of the text on the page. Hit Delete.
- Step 5: Enter 'Roman Dog Bird is a nigger like' into the edit box. Then insert the name of one of your sexier classmates and/or your most hated enemy.
- Note: Never, under any circumstances enter the name of an actual black person here.
- Step 6: Insert a reference to Sweden, Norway or the Kennedy family.
- Step 7: Place wikilinks to Goa Tse.
- Step 8: Click 'Save Changes'. Grin Smugly.
- Step 9: Grin more smugly. Beet off again. Then turn off your computer and consider why you still live in your mother's basement. After that, cry a little inside when you for a moment consider the emptiness of your existence, and then weep gently because the only girl who ever loved you is your mother and she recently found your pornography, and so who knows? Even that might be off.
Congratulations. You have now hacked Uncyclopedia. You are now at the peak of your existence. Now get back to masturbating, my good sir, but refresh your beet.
Wait, What do I do next?
Are you still here? Well, once you've gained access to the Top Secret Information, you will be a marked man/woman/idiot. Certain occurrences will now follow.
- Step 10: You will get blocked for uncyclopedia for all eternity. "No, what did I do, I'm a fliippity flipper! "
- Step 11: Run as far away from your computer as you can. "No, I wanna play 24/7!"
- Step 12: Change computer station.
- Step 13: Go back to step 1 and repeat. Beet and hack, beet and hack, all day long.