Game:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/crunchy

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

You open your ginormous mouth, and...

SLURP!

"Ah, that hit the spot," you say to yourself. Satasfied by a job well done, you begin to leave the store, leaving behind your groceries in your joy. You try to get into your car, but the phone booth (which actually was two times your size) has changed your shape, making you rectangular and unable to get into the drivers' seat. You see a man pass by, and, knowing that you'll probably fit in the trunk of a car, you go up to him.

"Hey, buddy!" you chirp cheerfully.

"No," the man said. "My name's Guy."

"So?"

"So my name's not Buddy."

"Whatever," you say. "Listen- I just ate a phone booth, and now I can't fit in my car. Would you mind shoving me in my car's trunk and driving me home?"

"Sure!" the man says enthusiastically. "I don't have a car anyway, and I have SO many sto- er, I mean, purchases to take home." He shoves you in your trunk quickly.

"But I haven't told you where I live yet!" you shout, though through the trunk, your muffled speech sounds like "Mmf I mmfn't mlld mu mrr I mm met!"

"Don't worry," he says. "I'll find it. Even if it kills you trying."

Reassured by this kind person, you settle down and fall asleep.

Ten minutes later, you hear a siren and someone shouting, "We have you surrounded! Do not go any further!"

The car trunk opens and a policeman asks if you're okay. The man who drove your car glares at you.

"We received your 911," the policeman says. "Thank goodness you had swallowed that phone booth or we would have never caught this notorious criminal."

911? And how did he know that you swallowed a phone booth? But, people think you're a hero anyway, so you just revel in the glory of it all.


Ten years later, which would be five years after you fully digested the phone booth, the man is let out of prison on parole. He really does find your house.

*** He really does kill you, too. ***


But wait...

You feel a tremendous wrench – the hand of God coming down to wipe clean the temporal chalkboard. The world dissolves, and then quickly floods back into existence, restoring its state as it was before you made your move.

But somehow, things aren't set up exactly the same as last time....

Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly.

On to the next aisle.

The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible.

You have stopped your trolley next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes.

There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.

A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.


Your move:

*Secret option!
Super-secret option!
Double super-secret option!

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=Game:Pick_Up_the_Phone_Booth_and_Aisle/crunchy&oldid=5161036"