Forum:Featured content

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Here is an ex-ray of a broken leg...most likely human

Making this website grow...requires:

recruitment, retention and rewarding.

TKF has proposed serveral ways to get new readers and users. There is no shortage of rewarding (though if a cash prize was awarded for competitions for new registered users it might be the best way to spend the money) but little about retention has been said.

Four Things

first and second contact

Several users slap a standard welcome on users' talk pages. Thats a good first contact (though personalising it...even a little...can probably make a difference).

I've noticed time and time again though...that second contact is often negative, if not slightly agressive. I've seen many second messages going like this:

"We don't do this with such and such. Please don't do that".

This...I think...leads to lost opportunities. If one is leaving the first personalised message on a user's page, one really ought to take it easy on the noobs. It only takes an extra sentence or two...and one need only avoid making the message sound non-accusatory and encouraging:

"Hey...I saw that you did x. Just so you know...we don't usually do stuff like that here (and a link to the policy). Thanks for your effort to help. Why don't you consider writing an article, voting for features and getting in touch with other users. And then a dirty joke.

--ShabiDOO 23:54, February 28, 2012 (UTC)

Rewrite BGBU. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 00:00 Feb 29, 2012

Give me editing privelages on that page and ill try --ShabiDOO 01:31, February 29, 2012 (UTC)

I think EMC has a draft kicking around somewhere in his userspace. Ask him if you can join in. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 01:38 Feb 29, 2012

I do indeed. Right here from when I was going to work on it back in July. I don't have all of the subpages in my userspace but those can easily be added. Also, not all of the BGBU needs to be rewritten, only everything above the "On Good Behavior" section in the BGBU template. Everything else should still be good from back in 2007. Obviously we will put the final draft to the community for approval. If you want to help all that I/we/Sophia asks of you is that you help condense it, not lengthen it. --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 05:50 Feb 29 2012

And the HTBFANJS. Also, on the topic of welcome templates, I have always felt (and have heard complaints before) that most of the welcome messages are tl;dr. Some of them are random (and therefore stupid) and downright confusing. If your custom welcome template is longer than the 2,700 bytes of our standard one, then you should probably consider shortening it. Remember: Brevity is best. And for the love of god, please stop putting pictures in your welcome templates. --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 00:05 Feb 29 2012

I think that if we're going to present ourselves in an organized manner, custom welcomes shouldn't even exist, or only exist with a certain degree of variation allowed. There's too much variation right now, and a lot of it is lolrandom. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 00:11 Feb 29, 2012

Agreed 1000%. I only use my own custom one because it's shorter than the standard one. --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 00:25 Feb 29 2012

Proposal: switch the welcome template with EMC's already. I think we've had this coming for a long time. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 00:30 Feb 29, 2012

The shorter, friendlier, and more concise as possible should give noobs a nice welcome. A large template has always seemed counterproductive to me, too much info for someone just starting to play on a new site. A nice "Hello" and a point to a couple of teaching places seems like enough. Aleister 00:37 Leap Day, 2012

Having only used the welcome template once or twice, and having hated it since it was given to me, I don't see a value in a pre-formatted welcome. A "Hi, how're you going. Welcome to the neighbourhood. You might want to look at HTBFANJS and BGBU at some stage. Drop by my talkpage if you need anything." is usually sufficient. Pup 01:19 29 Feb '12

True. I remember when I joined the site in 2010(?) and the welcome message I got was a big grey template with "WELCOME" written in big letters at the top. It was a little overwhelming. As for the other issue, I bitched about that a while ago, but to no avail. Looking at it, the BGBU is a bit too 2006-y and you get the idea that it gives newer users the wrong idea of the site for a couple of seconds. Even if it is a couple of seconds, it still shouldn't be the main "welcome, here's what you do around here" page that does that. EpicAwesomeness (talk) 08:00, March 1, 2012 (UTC)

Featured content

There is a lot of garbage on the site. There is also great great stuff. There are several thousand featured articles and there are over 50 best of the best as well. We really ought to showcase that more. I'm not suggesting this site become a best of the best one, but we should consider again finding other ways to encourage readers and users to visit these articles than just a "featured" content link on the left side.

--ShabiDOO 23:54, February 28, 2012 (UTC)

A more active VFD. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 00:00 Feb 29, 2012

Ah, the best of the best 50 does include some pretty iffy-feature pages. Random feature seems to be working out fine, and putting that feature link there may be one of the best things to happen here in awhile. Aleister 00:40 Leap day, 2012

This, also. The "best of the best" doesn't really make me laugh. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 00:41 Feb 29, 2012

I never noticed the change to "random feature". Thats great. Wasn't there talk before about having a list of recommended (good) articles at the bottom of all main space pages? --ShabiDOO 00:45, February 29, 2012 (UTC)

The page-to-page navigation does need improvement. Unfortunately, the only way you could have an automated "recommended article" system is by developing a MediaWiki extension and begging Wikia to install it. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 00:49 Feb 29, 2012

By the way, considering that in-jokey articles such as List of weapons that don't exist, but should are considered in the 50 best of the best, shouldn't they be edited down to a less random memey state. Personally, I feel like some of the earlier featured articles wouldn't survive VFD nowadays. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:52, February 29, 2012 (UTC)

That's article rot for you. If someone can think of a contest or other way to promote that article rot needs counteracting, go for it. However, we have a difficult enough time keeping our current feature queue rolling these days. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 00:56 Feb 29, 2012

Isn't it possible to keep a list of featured articles and randomly place three of them at the bottom of pages with a caption such as "See also the following pages which have nothing to do with [name of page]". ? --ShabiDOO 02:33, February 29, 2012 (UTC)

You'd have to add a template to every single page. Technically this could be done with a bot, but practically it's a very clunky solution. Depending on how the template is actually implemented, it could be a server-slowing solution as well. No, I'm afraid this is extension territory. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 02:42 Feb 29, 2012

In that case, we should consider extending uncyclopedia for two more seasons! ba dum bum! --ShabiDOO 02:47, February 29, 2012 (UTC)

Psh, that show's been beating dead horses since season one. Let's go out in a blaze of glory! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 02:48 Feb 29, 2012

Interlinking campaigns. Some features, especially those with nonsensical or arcane titles, are linked to very few pages besides UN:BEST. We need to improve feature interlinking pretty substantially, plus we need to catch up with DYC entries. Soon we should have enough to eliminate most other DYKs entirely. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 07:13, March 1, 2012 (UTC)

Also, another idea: Replace (or supplement) the anniversaries section with taglines from old UnNewses. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 07:14, March 1, 2012 (UTC)

Good idea. Sounds like work, though.

1234 ~ 18:24, 1 March 2012

nOOb awards

nOOb of the month is a good award. However if a user was nominated and didn't win, it doesn't hurt to leave a message for them on their talk page telling them that they are still valuable here and they should keep up the good work. It isnt very encouraging losing a competition in the first couple weeks. A little message goes a long place.

--ShabiDOO 23:54, February 28, 2012 (UTC)

Abolish NotM. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 00:00 Feb 29, 2012

recognition

I don't think enough people recognise just how poor I am and how much I could use some money. I would encourage all of you to consider donating all of the moeny we make from the shop to my survival fund. As you know...Mediteranean Europe is not facing the greatest economical situation...and every little bit counts. Just imagine what happens if we fail and go bankrupt. Then there may be terrorism in the future, from the indignants without jobs, blowing up stuff because they are indignant. No...better to give me money now. I have a paypal account and will forward it to anyone who is wise and wants to prevent problems in the future before they happen.

--ShabiDOO 23:54, February 28, 2012 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia should join an ad network and use the funds from that for various rewards. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 00:00 Feb 29, 2012

Proposals to fix stuff

Proposal I: Re-feature the "best of the best" articles.

Shutting down VFH for a predetermined amount of time and replacing it with a vote on which articles to re-run would increase awareness about article rot and give our classic articles some well-deserved attention. Obviously fixing up said articles would be highly encouraged, and certainly required in order to get a decent number of votes for those articles.

Our facebook and twitter accounts would be kept in-sync with the features at the same time for maximum exposure.

In-jokey articles would be disqualified. The definition of "in-jokey" will be determined solely by Romartus. That's not a joke. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 01:06 Feb 29, 2012

P.S. I'm not proposing this necessarily be done soon - I know our top 10 of 2011 just happened. I'm just proposing that it, in fact, happen at some point - maybe over the summer, when bored Internet users are more likely to check us out? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 01:22 Feb 29, 2012

EMC has been doing an excellent job with the Facebook feed. I've made a few contributions myself on the rare occasion that things lag. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 07:11, March 1, 2012 (UTC)

This is true, and EMC doesn't get enough recognition for the awesome shit he does. But this proposal is less to do with exposure and more to do with article rot awareness / motivating people to fix stuff. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 08:09 Mar 01, 2012

Yeah. Just throwing it out there 'cuz you mentioned it, cuz. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 08:47, March 1, 2012 (UTC)

Proposal II: Replace {{welcome}} with e|m|c's much more easily understood version.

Our welcome template is terribly tl;dr. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 01:06 Feb 29, 2012

Score: +7

1. For -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:09, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
2. Yes. --ShabiDOO 01:23, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
3. For. --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 03:31 Feb 29 2012
4. For. Pup 10:47 29 Feb '12
5. Yes please already -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 06:55, March 1, 2012 (UTC)
6. For. EpicAwesomeness (talk) 08:05, March 1, 2012 (UTC)
7. Sure. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:21, 1 March 2012

Proposal III: Set guidelines for custom welcome templates.

lolrandom humor has its place, but when you're trying to get important information across to somebody, that's absolutely not the place. We have a lot of really cool custom welcome templates and all that, but those custom templates tell you more about the user welcoming you than the site itself, which is sort of not the point. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 01:06 Feb 29, 2012

Score: +4

1. For This is just obvious. I'm not sure how many custom welcome templates are actually used these days though. Regardless, I am for codifying some sort of policy against dumb welcome templates. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:11, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
2. For. I'd say nothing more than 3,000 bytes or so, no links to the welcomer's user page (other than in their signature), and no randomness. Uncyc is bashed for its randomness. We don't need to reinforce stereotypes by showing noobs how random we can be. Also, fish hammock. LOL! --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 03:34 Feb 29 2012
3. Yes please. The madness has to end. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 07:00, March 1, 2012 (UTC)
4. Three thumbs up. EpicAwesomeness (talk) 08:06, March 1, 2012 (UTC)

Proposal IV: Set guidelines for second contact.

Second contact (and most likely first personalised contact), is the issue that was most important to me when I started this forum. If you are leaving the second message on a nOObs page and/or the first personalised message, it really really should be:

• non accusatory
• encouraging (examples of what could be done)
• truly personalised

Score: 1

1. Yes. --ShabiDOO 01:20, February 29, 2012 (UTC)

Comment. Believe it or not, I didn't mean for this section to immediately devolve into voting. But anyway, I don't think some kind of noob interaction guidelines are strictly necessary. People need to bite the noobs less often, sure, but being corrected hurts a lot less when you've been getting encouragement on your talkpage, for example. Without encouragement, even the most polite nudge can feel like you aren't welcome here. Also, being civil to one another should not be limited to second contact. That should be the same for second, third, fourth, one hundredth contact. We need to be polite to more than just the noobs. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 01:24 Feb 29, 2012

• So basically...guidelines for first contact and no guidelines for second contact? I think both are equally important. --ShabiDOO 01:29, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
  • edit conflict One of them is literally a template, the other is a department-store-esque customer service management type deal. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 01:31 Feb 29, 2012
    • If you really think that users should feel free to go bitching and accusing stuff towards nOObs and tell them to stop doing things without motivating or encouraging them at all...then so be it, but don't exagerate about this proposed policy, its not department store cheese at all and it seems like pretty logical stuff to me. Our second biggest flaw on this site is indifference). --ShabiDOO 01:57, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
      • Nah, you see, you're thinkin' too small. I'd support a proposal that encourages being civil to everyone, noobs included, but not just to noobs nor just to second contact. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 01:59 Feb 29, 2012
        EDIT: However I hope to Sophia that this isn't actually necessary to do. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 02:00 Feb 29, 2012
        • Im not thinking at all about micro management, I'm thinking about the retention of noobs, and I think a good approach to the first few interactions with them are essential to getting them to stay. We can't know for sure what makes them stay or go, but theres no benifit to being harsh/blunt/cold with them, and potentially there is a lot to gain by taking it easy on them. So fine...change it to: "Take it easy on noobs and animate them." Its a very reasonable policy. As for thinking big and making a policy to be civil with each other, we have the policy "don't be a dick" and above that, established users are free to set their limits with each other. --ShabiDOO 02:29, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
          • I just don't think dealing with noobs requires its own separate policy. Sorry. A welcome template is a bit different than user-to-user interaction. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 02:44 Feb 29, 2012
            • Don't be sorry. Lets see what other users think. --ShabiDOO 02:45, February 29, 2012 (UTC)

Proposal V: Abolish NotM.

Moved to Forum:Abolish NotM

Score: 1

1. For We should be giving noobs more {{Cookie}}s and {{Ninjastar}}s. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:14, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
2. save the award competitions for established users and spend more time interacting personally with nOObs. --ShabiDOO 01:21, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
3. No, do both, and imnho this should not be lumped into a large page with a huge anti-introduction to the vote. In my mediumish time here this has been brought up several times and voted down each time. To kill it would only need to lose once. This seems unfair, keeping NotM has proven to be popular enough to not bring up again, especially at the bottom of a long page like this with a name having nothing to do with such a radical change. Aleister 1:22 29-2-'12
   • So you're saying the way this is presented is wrong? I can fix that. Give me some links for the against arguments, and I'll gladly link them here. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 01:25 Feb 29, 2012
     • Agreed...scrap this vote and start a new forum if you want a vote --ShabiDOO 01:27, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
       • I'm not really sure why this is any more or less relevant than anything else in the forum. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 01:32 Feb 29, 2012
         • It's a fairly major thing, and even bringing it up again is almost maybe could be knocking on drama's side door. To be nicer about the question, lots of people find value in the award, and everyone knows that even if it's voted "gone" then it would immediately reappear on someone's user page, so why bother. Aleister 1:46 29-2-'12
           • Fair 'nuff. Moving. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • SU&W) 01:48 Feb 29, 2012

I don't know what's going on, but...

WP:BITE, anyone? Y'all need to learn to assume good faith, stop being dicks, and generally be civil. It'd do wonders. Jerks. 1234 ~ 22:43, 29 February 2012

Huh? Pup 10:49 29 Feb '12

Clearly you don't know what's going on. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 07:02, March 1, 2012 (UTC)

Okay? --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 17:11 Mar 1 2012

Y'all excel at scaring away noobs.

1234 ~ 18:22, 1 March 2012

And the interface excels at scaring away everyone.

1234 ~ 18:23, 1 March 2012

And the content scares away anyone left over.

1234 ~ 18:26, 1 March 2012

I like pizza. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 18:53, March 1, 2012 (UTC)

And you excel at scaring away established users. --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 03:14 Mar 3 2012

Hello, pot.

1234 ~ 03:46, 3 March 2012

I think I can see what you're trying to say Lyrithya, ignoring the fact that you've been as confrontational as possible in saying it. And I think it's actually what has already been said above, relating to setting up a good first and second impression, and guiding noobs rather than admonishing them. Of course, I think you've just criticized everyone here who is trying to do exactly that, which will have a net negative effect. And judging from what you've said elsewhere, there may actually be a bit of a storm in a teacup relating to the amount of energy that we're putting into this, but by talking about it, it again becomes a focus for us all again. In fact I think you even mentioned previously how you were nearly scared off the site when you were new here, so I assume you'd be supportive of any attempt to make people's starts here a positive experience. Of course, you've been somewhat vague here, so potentially you were actually suggesting we should all be eating deep fried chocolate bars, so I apologise if I've misconstrued your intent. Pup 05:48 03 Mar '12

I dont know if you are joking here or if you are in a bad mood about uncyclopedia. We know you've made efforts to stop nOOb biting, and here we have a forum to discuss it. Talking about it is a lot better than insulting every one, in my opinion. The people here are not jerks, they are not dicks, they're civil and apart from some heated forum discussions, people here assume good faith. And this wiki has far more civility and good faith than any typical group or organization of 100 regular members. We don't even have any overt divas. I don't think this rotten mood of yours is helpful at all. --ShabiDOO 06:41, March 3, 2012 (UTC)

Oh, aye. Uncyclopedia is terrible, but it's nothing to Wikipedia. Have you seen how users treat their talkpages there? Noob asks a question and they get reverted and an automated vandalism warning placed on their talkpage. Except that actually does happen, so that's not even a joke, is it? Uh... where was I going with this?

1234 ~ 07:18, 3 March 2012

Oh, Wikipedia is pretty bad at ignoring their own policies. A point in their favour is they have a much bigger problem with vandals. But see the treatment that ZB got there when he first joined, not to mention myself. They are content nazis. Pup 08:08 03 Mar '12