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The magnificent Tower of Babel where the king lived. As shown by this painting, it was never completed due to budget cuts.

The name Babylon is derived from the Hebrew, the language of the Jews or big noses, "Babel", which means "confusion". It was once was the roman province capital of Palestine. Today the ruins of this great city can be found in the Gaza strip, often targeted by suicide bombers.

The Babylon Expansion[edit]

The Babylon expansion started in the 12th century when king MC Hammurabi conquered the whole middle east and large parts of north Africa. It was named Babylon as whenever foreigners came to visit, Babylonians would babylon and on and on and on and on about how vast their empire was. A few years after this Babylon joined the Roman Empire to gain control over Europe. The Babylonians were known to be very religious, their holy books "Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna" and "Hare Hare Hare Rama" shows excellent proof of highly developed spiritual insights and rituals, such as singing hymns and donating small sums of money to the temple.

By trading with the Chinese emperor and Indian tribes in the North America the Babylonians quickly became powerful and in 1457 they joined forces with the northern barbarians and overthrown the roman emperor. For nearly 200 years the Babylonians ruled whole Europe and big parts of Africa and Asia, building huge fortunes in gold and jewels. At this time their royal king Spencer began to conquer more area that surrounded Europe and moved mainly into Africa. Around 1650 (the exact year is unknown) the English King Arthur pulled a sword out of a random stone and lead his knights to overthrow their Babylonian overseers. Soon rebellions started all over the Babylonian empire, mainly because the widespread use of slavery and the high taxations (rising to 99% at times). Facing a civil war and without any religious guidance from their holy books, the Babylonians decided to flee to America.

The Babylonian Dream[edit]

After a dramatic sailing over the Atlantic Ocean where almost half of the population was killed in storms or eaten by jellyfish the Babylonians arrived in America and founded the Babylonian States of America. After short and peaceful negotiations the natives of the land known as "Eskimos" or "Polar People" agreed to leave the country and move north to Canada or stay in small independent states like Mexico or Paraguay. Only a few days after the arrival the BS Civil War started because of a card game debt between the president George Washington and one of his generals, Abraham Lincoln.

Since the president early got the slaves on his side he outnumbered Lincoln who got shot during a cinema visit. The North won the war and the game debt was repayed. Also as a result of the war slavery was declared illegal and all slaves were moved to Ghettos to "provide a cheap workforce, fight our wars and keep our great prison industry running" (quote Abe Lincoln).

At the same time the country changed its name to USA, and all proof of their past as Babylonians were destroyed. Today the only who knows the truth about Babylon is the small Rastafari tribe in the Caribbean, who are more known for their music and pot-smoking habits. The Rastafaris are secretly fighting a terror war against what they believe is "the mother of Satan" under the false identity of Islamic extremists to avoid retaliation.

Babylon Inc.[edit]

This is what happens when they fire you.

Babylon Incorporated is known to be the secret name of a group consisting of 4-5 persons who in secret are running 90% of the world top corporations and a few smaller nations, planning world domination. The identity of the group members have yet not been revealed.

Babylon in Rastafari[edit]

Babylon is THE GREAT EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

See also[edit]