# Aerodynamic

Someone testing out the Aerodynamicisities of their spit.

“If we made the plane out of bricks will it still be aerodynamic?”

~ Wilbur Wright on Aerodynamics

Aerodynamic is what a plane is but a brick isn't.

## The Basic Principle

If a brick is and a plane isn't the question is "What isn't aerodynamic?". So if the question is the other way round then a brick isn't and a plane is.

The X∂J, even more aerodynamic than a toaster.

A brick is not aerodynamic for a simple reason. If all houses looked like planes and you wouldn't get that annoying wooshing sound in your house. Now you are probably thinking,"Oh, but I really hate that wooshing noise so why can't we get rid of it?"

Well, the simple answer is that if we didn't have that wooshing noise, as the wind violently hits your house, then we wouldn't be able to tell if it is windy or not. Yes! It is true! All meteorologists or weathermen for those who didn't get any GCSEs/HSEs, or weatherpeople if you are Politically Correct, do actually use their houses as a way of telling you wether or not it is windy! Not silly old Isobars and High and Low air pressure systems led by frontages!

## The Slightly Less Basic Principle

Imagine this. You (<insert name here>) are standing on top of a building. You have 3 objects on a table to your left. These 3 objects have been chosen by three Uncyclopedia users. Javascap chose a Computer screen. TheGreenOne chose a Wooden Spoon whilst Jackharrison chose that you would have a Class II Blind-Wangable Wellington Boot. Now let's say that you were to throw these off the building at the same velocity. Presuming that you are 39 stories up which one would look the best as it hits the floor?

To answer this question you must firstly apply the law of Aerodynamics. Does it make a whooshing sound? Luckily for you only the computer screen makes a whooshing sound which makes the answer the Computer Screen.

### Negatives

Imagine a world where if you threw a brick fast enough the lack of air resistance would allow it to fly away and hit that bully who kicked your ass for reading this! It would also allow coaches to go really fast so on your way to that gigantic science festival in Illinois your coach would actually get there in time.

It also means that you can't smell the fat kids moldy old armpits and 30 year old Dorito collection, which he keeps in his lunchbag nestling on top of the bacon and cheese sandwich you have been eyeing up since his large glands wobbled on to the bus.

### Positives

You know... your latest design looks a lot like a washing machine... Not very aerodynamic...

Nerds will get jobs in Automotive Design. Where they will spend all day throwing ideas around an office about the fundemental laws of Physics and how they will improve the design of the General Motors vehicle they are making. These ideas will in turn lead to questions, which will lead to answers. Normally these questions follow the guidelines of their jobs. They are usually:

• Will it move?
• Is the air resistance too high?
• Why does it look like a plane?
• Will I be able to drive my Mother around town in it without her complaining?

However on many occasions a person who didn't go to College will enter the "Fishbowl" of Ideas. The questions that you will have to answer will then vary and will make your job more embarrassing as you realise that you are the only guy/girl their who hasn't got laid. These questions that will destroy your self esteem will probably be based around these ideas:

• Why are you making a plane in a car factory?
• Why does it look like a plane then?
• Is that a pen or are you just glad to see my fat, male assistant?
• How come you are 56, have been working here half your life, surrounded by women, even really ugly ones, living in your Mom's basement and you still haven't got laid?

Another positive of having Aerodynamics in the world we live in is that wind exists. Yes, that is right! Your favourite power generators which will improve the ecology/environment won't work in a world without Aerodynamics! Instead you would have to rely on those burly men who lob coal into a furnace all day and you don't want them taking jobs away from your beloved eco-warrior MSN friends!

Aerodynamics also provides important jobs for you guys at NASA. They have to deal with how much fuel you will need to use, how much wind they expect to find on Mars and how big a house they are going to need to measure it. Can you imagine that! You, <insert name here> building intergalactic houses instead of just correcting gramatical and factual mistakes on Wikipedia (and Conservapedia because you have to balance out your political correctness).

### In Conclusion

So yes! Aerodynamics is a good thing for the 99th percentile! Which means it is a bad thing for everyone else but they don't matter because you know you will donate your entire life to it's cause earning a mere \$30,000 a year, living in a Basement with your 3 friends playing Halo. What a lifestyle! If I didn't have a life I might consider it. Actually that's a lie...

## So How Do I Get Into Aerodynamical Design?

Unfortunately since the fall of the Soviets you will have to go to it. Fortunately for you it is only a few clicks away! Firstly go on to this Wikipedia page [1] and read it so that you know more than the basic principles of brick throwing and wooshing. After you have learnt how whooshy a brick is, then you can join NASA and apply for an internship in "Make This Rocket Less Wooshy And More Vroooooooom-y". It may help if you have a previous arrest record for egging people's cars from your office window although this degree is not necessary.