Why?:Have Russian Reversal?
|The author of this article wants you to JOIN HIS ARMY. This template was brought to you by the Army of the SNEEPUR|
“In Soviet Russia, WHY asks YOU???”
“This town needs an enema”
You ask why?
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's?
Ladies and genitalmen, Sir Oscar Wilde, Lord Vader.. This is the 21st century. Technology has taken over the way we see the world. From cell phones and ipods, hybrid cars, gay marriges. To America "claiming" to have walked on the moon. And in the way of great Mother Russia, if we don't understand something, we break it. And my belief is if we could slightly "reverse" our slow decline into maddness, we could find out where we went wrong, and continue on the corect course. My calculations is that we could russian reverse for two years,(with the current acceleration of technology), would be like going seting the world back twenty years. Now I understand that I am but a n00b, just give me a chance, and I will try my best to convince you "why" have a Russian Reversal?"
They asked why?
The world as we know it is stagnate. In fact yin and yang is now considered one, and its name has been changes to Ethel. Lucifer has stopped his bitching and taken up stock in Starbucks, Yahoo, and Nasa. Seinor citezens don't understand what "Rosebud" means, and they would rather listen to some Zeppelin. Which I find to be just great but wrongfully evil. Nostradamus was wrong! The Duke was homo! Dogs and cats living together.....MASS HYSTERIA! I have to apologize, for I am a ferret person, or maybe potbelly pig. But a cat as a pet? Really? Thats just plain nasty.
Why ask why? Bud dry tries YOU!!!
And then we come to this conclusion. Why we have to question the way we live today. If you can watch your MTV and listen to emo rap while "blogging"...... COME ON!!! BLOGGING??? Make a bird feeder or something. Nobody cares. What we need is a revolution to end this god-awful society that we have created. Simply by wakeing up in the morning can we begin to change our evil ways. Every time you make a dicision during your day, stop. And do the opposite. Ask yourself, "In Soviet Russia, What would I do?" Simply by doing this every time you have a choice, we can begin our great transformation into sainthood.
Simple everyday reversals for YOU!!!
- You wake clock
- morning wood has you
- Eggo leggos you
- Work/school is tardy to you.
- Supervisor/biology teacher has affair with you.
- Wrists cuts you
- Porn Downloads You
- Joint rolls you
- Tonight chicken feels like you.
- Chuck Norris kills babies... not you
- On House MD, Lupus has you
- Whore pays you.
These simple changes in a persons everyday life can greatly change the way our desendants will remember us by. Just by doing the opposite of what you would normally do, we could save the human race together,.....as one. Oooooooooo thats fuckin gay Huh?
Why Russian Reversal now?
Well actually mankind has had a couple reversals in the past. The first time it is known to have happened was 65 million years ago when god was playing golf with the pre-soul of Hitler, and got a hole-in-one into Gulf of Mexico, known at that time as just East Mexico. We in the science field don't really refer to this as a reversal, more like an evolutionary reboot. On other occurrence of a reversal was when the greeks invaded Iceland in 1469 BC and forced all the ninja penguins to walk around in the nude. Penguins already not being clothed, but the greeks thought they all were wearing really nice suits, skinned the poor artic water foul, ending up killing millions. The stupidity of the greeks set mankind back four thousand years. These small examples mean nothing to the point I am trying to make, But I think they are funny storys to tell old people.
Why is it "MY" responsabilty
We all know that the world we live in revolves around our youth. In fact how many of you were ever lead by their parents? Not a lot of hands. It is up to you, the youth of the world to save it from your very destruction. In my calculations and laboratory expriments, (actual scientific work, not experimenting with myself in my bathroom... But brings a good example. Body experiments with you). But getting back to fags, FACTS! I said facts. In the lab any test subject,(aka street trash under 30), The reversal was two hundred percent more efficient then hobos, TEST SUBJECTS....over 30. In fact in good irony, and a great Russian Reversal, Children are my Future. Scary thing is Micheal Jackson said that too.
The formulation to my work is quite simple really.
Either way you look at it we are winners. So please, tomorrow when you punk kids have to wake up and go to school.... think of the children, GOD WON'T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!