Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/November 15

Santa, the source of all iguana ailments.

November 15: Awareness in Iguanas Awareness Week begins

• 438 - Saint Patrick drives the snakes from Ireland. Iguanas are only offered bus vouchers.
• 1491 - Christopher Columbus arrives at the New World, only to be told that he is a year early.
• 1533 - Francisco Pizarro arrives in Cuzco, Peru. He notices that the iguanas have unusually piercing stares but firm, lovely bodies.
• 1853 - Deep in the Amazon, Brazilian missionaries discover the phrase, "Cogito, ergo sum" scraped onto a tree, apparently by the claws of some medium-sized reptile.
• 1888 - Iguana hoagies, foot-long sandwiches on a roll, become briefly popular. It is later found that people in most other places cook the iguana first.
• 1964 - Mary Poppins donates a spoonful of sugar and the handsome sum of 21 guineas to the Arthritic Iguana Foundation after her beloved pet Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious dies screaming horribly from Mad Iguana Disorder, a disease closely related to Arthritic Iguana Ailment.
• 1969 - Vietnam War: In Washington, D.C., 250,000-500,000 iguanas stage a peaceful demonstration against the war.
• 1990 - Producers acknowledge that Milli Vanilli, who won the 1990 "Best New Artist" Grammy Award, did not sing on their album. Vocals were sung by a couple of iguanas with vocoders.
• 2001 - Microsoft releases the Xbox. The most popular game is Hi/Lo, a cooking game starring a cyborg known only as the "Master Chef". It is set in a futuristic spaceship and challenges the player to serve up meals for an entire ship, sometimes using alien cooking implements. The game is regarded as a classic in the "First Person Cooker" genre.
• 2006 - Santa continues to plot total world domination.
• 2016 - 84% of Americans suffer from thumb arthritis due to excessive use of the text message. JubJub, the first reptilian virtuous assistant, proves to be extremely popular despite problems with Salmonella transmission.