Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 11

May 11: Printer Calibration Jubilee (Cupertino, California)

• 85879 BCE - Yo momma became the first human to be fully evolved, or intelligently designed (whichever you prefer).
• 479 BCE - Recto-Lube: The Brand You Love is founded in ancient Greece.
• 1865 - Abraham Lincoln's corpse starts to stink really badly.
• 1956 - Gold Coast, a country in Africa, decides that they are Ghana, and become independent.
• 1983 - Scientists announce vaccine to protect against Pac-Man Fever.
• 1988 - In the dark, all cats are gray. Or you need a new printer cartridge.
• 1991 - AOL launches its internets service, charging US$1 per week. Take up is slow, as the majority ofmankind had already guessed they are a hideous fraud.
• 1995 - The death of a generation. Countless people die.
• 1996 - Fox News goes on the air. Its first broadcast is a big production number of the Communist anthem The Internationale as they show how close the democrats are to the socialist party.
• 2000 - Al Gore loses Survivor after the Supreme Court intervenes.
• 2002 - Al Gore invents Internet.
• 2008 - James Madison eats George Bush for breakfast, then promptly uses his spidey powers to escape.