Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/June 30

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June 30: Dare a Younger Sibling to Eat an Insect Day (pictured)

  • 66 million BCE - A young triceratops attempts to feed a bug to a newly hatched sibling but is hit in the crotch by a very large meteorite before it could do so. Small mammals see this and will remember the joke.
  • 3000 BCE - Cain dares Abel to eat a scorpion. Abel does, and falls dead. Cain tries to explain it was an accident, but nobody will listen.
  • 1500 BCE - Aaron dares his younger brother Moses to eat a scarab beetle. Moses does so, and the gritty taste convinces him to lead his people from Egypt.
  • 44 BCE - Julius Caesar dies after being forced to eat a bug carrying a large knife.
  • 1859 - Oscar Wilde, despondent over not having a sibling to dare to eat an insect or be dared to eat an insect by, consumes an earwig.
  • 1867 - Via the cleverest ruse possible, Mycroft Holmes gets his younger brother Sherlock to eat a bug.
  • 1921 - U.S. President Warren G. Harding appoints former President William Howard Taft to the Supreme Court, after Taft successfully attempts to eat a small quantity of mosquitoes.
  • 1935 - The Dionne quintuplets are born. By the time the last, Marie, was born, her older sisters were already waiting with insects in hand.
  • 1959 - American actor Vincent D'Onofrio is born, paving the way to a career of acting as though he had just accepted a dare to eat a rather nasty-tasting insect.
  • 1971 - Ohio ratifies the 26th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, lowering the voting age to 18, and lowering the threshold at which younger siblings are no longer required to accept bug-related dares to 16.
  • 1999 - Blue whales lose their appetites when told they are eating "bugs". Krill is rebranded as "seafood medley" and the whales return to their original food sources after subsisting on pelicans and fishermen in rowboats.
  • 2016 - Queen Elizabeth II formally announces her regret at making the late Princess Margaret eat a bug when they were children. She atones for this by holding down Prince Charles and shoveling quantities of what is termed "bug salad" into his mouth as millions cheer.