Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 4

December 4: Crow and Raven Revenge Day, Take a Crap Day the one day women poop; it smells like roses

• c.125,000 BCE - Tool-using crows are seen by early humans and copied. Initially amused, crows are aghast when humans eat whole cow pies instead of probing them for grubs and bugs.
• 1999 BCE - l337 5p3ak 15 kr34t3d.
• 30 CE - Und Jeebus sayd undo da poepple, 'Whoom doo yoo tink eye am?', und da poepple repped, 'You are the exhiological replication of our being, the vast immiturication of a higher homosapianism, the essence of zoology.', und Jeebuz sez, 'Eh?'
• 1596 - The flushing toilet is invented by John Harington. Charles Outhouse threatens suit.
• 1597 - Crows and ravens learn to flush toilets after using them but refuse to replace toilet paper rolls.
• 1680 - Ravens settle into the Tower of London by building their nests inside Beefeater's heads. Londoners think, 'That's so raven.'
• 1874 - Thomas Crapper invents an improved flush toilet, though historians credit the building of sewers underneath flush toilets to be the better improvement.
• 1898 - Crows finally get a measure of revenge on humanity by creating "Old Crow" brand rotgut bourbon.
• 1973 - Crows and ravens start to circle around Richard Nixon during his personal appearances.
• 1993 - Frank Zappa's reported death occurs. He reaches a higher plane and is reincarnated as a raven.
• 2010 - Rick James comes back to life, grabs 100 kilos of cocaine, then vanishes.
• 2019 - Edgar Allen Poe is resurrected, creates a Hip Hop dance hit called "The Raven (Nevermore Remix)", then disappears without a trace. A week later, just before the release of the album, all copies of the recordings of the song disappear as well, including all the pre-release leaks on Torrent.