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This script art a part of
The UnScripts Project
Your personal Shakspearian folio of humor, love, woe and other silly emotions.
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This article is based on the theatre play by Caryl Churchill. For other use see Number bases.
- HALTER, a man in his early sixties
- NUMBER 2, his son, forty
- NUMBER 1, his son, thirty-five
- NUMBER 1 and NUMBER 2
NUMBER 2A number
NUMBER 1What is it
NUMBER 2"A Number" strange
NUMBER 1what number strange
NUMBER 1is it
NUMBER 2a theatre play
NUMBER 1who wrote
NUMBER 2who wrote?
NUMBER 1who wrote the
NUMBER 2Caryl Churchill a dramatist she is, writes about human cloning and all that everyone will tell you it might be quite the
NUMBER 1quite the what?
NUMBER 2odd but not odd queer but not queer peculiar but not peculiar you know what I mean not everyone might comprehend what she is saying
NUMBER 1really why not
NUMBER 1Oh, punctuation!
NUMBER 1never mind
- NUMBER 1 and NUMBER 2
NUMBER 1fine and what about
NUMBER 2considered great by the critics
NUMBER 1yes but
NUMBER 2does not really tell anything
NUMBER 1about the problem but it does
NUMBER 2then doesn’t provide any solutions
NUMBER 1for the characters but it does
NUMBER 2does not present all the aspects?
NUMBER 1of the issue but it does
NUMBER 2as if you have read it
NUMBER 1what if I did
NUMBER 1Caryl Churchill, see?
NUMBER 1normally writes about sexual politics one of her greatest works is Objections to sex although she herself has three sons
NUMBER 2were there any more
NUMBER 2incidents of such a kind
NUMBER 1not much except for she wrote "Seven Jewish children" when she was around seventy
NUMBER 2you think that
NUMBER 1I have no idea
NUMBER 2a dog?
NUMBER 1how do I know
NUMBER 2a husband?
NUMBER 1yes, married and lived happily but wrote another play called Drunk enough to say I love you
NUMBER 1still seems to be rather happy
NUMBER 1A family
NUMBER 2a normal one?
NUMBER 1well I am not saying it is particularly unusual the father is drunk the mother commits suicide the father clones his child that happens often you know
NUMBER 2and the clones
NUMBER 1yeah a number of them a father with plenty of sons he does not know what to do
NUMBER 2son's name was something
NUMBER 1Bernard - the father gives the same name to all his sons of whom he is aware
NUMBER 2so they get angry and kill themselves
NUMBER 1not all of them
NUMBER 2seriously stop cutting me off if you do that again I will
NUMBER 1clone me?
NUMBER 2no stop I didn't finish talking I was
NUMBER 1clone me?
NUMBER 2why would I
NUMBER 1why not?
NUMBER 2I’ve not been lucky with dogs. Not that they all died - they did, as a matter of fact, but this isn’t the point. I had a pit bull that basically killed all my friends not friends I meant acquaintances sometimes you meet a person at a bar and he throws a beer into your face and you start to know him you understand you have the same preferences and tastes or not exactly or or
NUMBER 1I’ve not been lucky with cats. Let’s talk about something else.
NUMBER 2So cloning, huh?
NUMBER 2many of them at the same time
NUMBER 1the father was often mean with his son
NUMBER 2he had many
NUMBER 1it was not possible to be mean with all of them he would die of tire
NUMBER 2what did he do with that many
NUMBER 1oh I thought you were talking about
NUMBER 2then for God's sake let me finish my
NUMBER 1sure then I won't
NUMBER 2Then you don’t. So what happened?
NUMBER 1tried to deceive everyone but
NUMBER 2failed, this is a word failed a life
NUMBER 1failed lives
NUMBER 2failed to deceive or failed a life
NUMBER 1those are just the same
NUMBER 2so they failed?
NUMBER 1yes all of them yes yes maybe except for one
NUMBER 1another clone
NUMBER 2the one who
NUMBER 1seems to be happy with his life
NUMBER 1his greatest interest in life is his wife's ears
NUMBER 1then he probably failed as well
NUMBER 1First performed by Michael Gambon and Daniel Craig
NUMBER 2I remember a book I once read
NUMBER 1the James Bond one who always wears a suit no matter what
NUMBER 2It was a pretty bad and boring book actually.
NUMBER 1played all of the sons
NUMBER 2About an elephant, don’t you remember? We read it together
NUMBER 1If it was real, this would give us a lot of James'es Bonds, which is not always a good
NUMBER 2An elephant at sea
NUMBER 2It was an elephant in red socks, was it?
NUMBER 1because clones may have different personalities you know perceptions
NUMBER 2Red trousers!
NUMBER 1perceptions of life and the Universe
- NUMBER 1
NUMBER 1Wait, did he wear a suit on that play?
NUMBER 1Hello hello hello.
- HALTER and NUMBER 1
HALTERI am your father.
NUMBER 1Where is NUMBER 2?
HALTERI don’t want a number of sons, thank you, you’re plenty, I’m fine.
NUMBER 1Why don’t you just let me leave?
NUMBER 1I want to go away
HALTERI love you.
NUMBER 1That’s something you can’t help.
NUMBER 1I'm not saying you should be. Just let me leave
HALTERI still am. I am sorry.
NUMBER 1Leave leave leave
HALTERFor what for a week or two a holiday
NUMBER 1no, no, no, wa-
HALTERAh, I miss him so much. I miss them both.