UnNews:U.S. Dollar falls below WoW Gold
| A newsstand that's brimming with issues | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Saturday, April 27, 2024, 12:10:59 (UTC) |
| U.S. Dollar falls below WoW Gold | 
|
9 November 2007
CELESTIAL THRONEROOM, Washington DC -- According to the Global International Currency Exchange, eBay, the United States Dollar hit a new low for the 80th time this year, finally sliding below the World of Warcraft Gold Coin, the standardized currency of the trade union formed between the countries of Azeroth, Lordaeron, Quel Thallas and Khaz Modan. The WoWGC followed the Canadian Loonie (worth 1.000001 US$) in beating the greenback after disappointing reports about America's ability to understand what the subprime mortgage crisis actually is (12% of Americans believe it has to do with shark attacks).
Economic trends were pointing toward this shift for several years. Industrialized and developing countries in East Asia have been diverting investments from dollars to WoWGC and retooling factories toward the production of Tauren, Gnome and Orc sized magical helmets and breastplates. China's booming agriculture sector has employed over one hundred million "farmers" creating good for export to the World of Warcraft while America has been straining to keep food production in step with it gluttonous ever expanding citizens.
"Not enough food... Build more farms" an unnamed source from Warcraft 2 remarked.
Some sector's on the U.S. economy are expected to receive a boon from the falling dollar as the savage trolls of Durotar take a break from their endless blood war with their hated night elf rivals to enjoy popular tourist locations such as Las Vegas and New York.
"Though these cities are filled with filthy, puny humans you can get affordable food and lodgings if you plan ahead. There was this great Pakistani place we found in Soho where you can get a huge plate of curry lamb and appetizers for the cost of a strip of charred boar flesh in the haunted wastelands around the Stonetalon Mountains. Even though I'm a good eight feet tall with fearsome tusks and skin as blue as the raging sea few of these human vermin have even given me a second glance. It's the little things like that make New York a great destination for your swarming brood of young and the missus." remarked Ang'dhazo Shargore, 64th level shaman and recent visitor. "No fucking n00bz here either"
Sources[edit]
- King Terenas "The Loonie Takes Wing". The Economist, Sept. 27, 2007