UnNews:Trump: I "stopped" looting and vandalism
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| Trump: I "stopped" looting and vandalism | 
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2 July 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump claimed on Thursday to have "stopped" looting and vandalism.
Looting and vandalism had been a prominent feature of his turbulent administration, including
- Smashing to bits the free-trade agreement with Canada and Mexico
- Looting his own economic recovery and employment records in response to a baffling new virus
- Vandalizing cross-border human trafficking with his awkward new border wall
- Wrecking relations with Congress.
He also claimed that his threat of action caused local officials in Seattle to retake an "autonomous zone" in its downtown. It is not clear what looting and vandalism Trump threatened for Seattle.
It is not clear for how long he has "stopped" looting and vandalism. Pundits say he might resume the practices if elected to a second term on November 3. Trump is on a twelve-step program and stopped the practices by signing what he called a bill, which was actually an Executive Order. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi seized on this overt lie and suggested the House might haul him back in for Impeachment. She said, "My members will also want to know when he 'stopped' beating his wife."
In a basement across the capital, Trump's presumed opponent for the Presidency, Democrat Joe Biden, said he rallied 600 lawyers for possible "chicanery" during the upcoming campaign. It is as poorly known what chicanery the lawyers intend to commit as it is what vandalism the President "stopped" committing.
Some speculate that the 600 lawyers are a defensive force against Republican chicanery. However, having that many lawyers in one place — any number taking the plural, in fact — and with the same client, to boot — makes it unavoidable that they will author some independent mischief.
Sources[edit]
- Dave Boyer "Trump says he 'stopped' looting and vandalism to protect American dream". Washington Times, July 2, 2020
- Lauren Meier "Joe Biden gathers 600 lawyers to prepare for possible 'chicanery' ahead of November election". Washington Times, July 2, 2020