UnNews:Texas no longer a state after OU football victory
| A newsstand that's brimming with issues | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Tuesday, November 5, 2024, 09:26:59 (UTC) |
| Texas no longer a state after OU football victory | 
|
15 November 2006
Dan Sath, USA --
After the surprising victory of the University of Oklahoma Sooners against Texas Tech University's Nerds, Texas native and President George W. Bush, has revoked his home state's statehood. In a press conference, the President said:
"The Sooners are stupid poopyheads! They cannot beat our team, for we are invisible!" said President Bush, whilst revoking Texas's statehood,
When told by Vice President Cheney that the correct word was "invincible," Bush responded saying: "Aww, Dick, ya know my vocabulation sucks, and I don't speak very good British."
The now-Democratic Congress has approved of Bush's decision to secede Texas from the Union. Judge Reinhold ruled in favor of this secession Tuesday afternoon at 3:05 P.M. after settling a lawsuit that Andry Griffith had filed against himself and watching his DVD of Night Court. In a press conference later that day, Reinhold said:
"I support the President's decision to kick Texas out of the Union. I mean, I hate the guy with a passion, but I'm such a huge fan of both teams. There! Now nobody can kick my ass for saying that!" justified Judge Reinhold his decision to kick Texas's ass out of the Union.
Unfortunately, he did get his ass kicked by Barneyand a mob of Sesame Street characters and rednecks. Reinhold's decision is effective immediately.
Soonerism, as it is called, is the third largest religion in the World, especially in the OU area where the Sooners reign.
Sources[edit]
- Hayseed Dixie "Texas no longer a state". MSNBC, November 14, 2006
- Taylor Hicks "OU beats Texas 34-24". CNN, November 11, 2006
- Kevin Federline "Sooners kick Red Raider ass". Fox News, November 11, 2006
