UnNews:SpaceX rocket gets momentum shift

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

We have met the enemy, and he is us UnNews Tuesday, November 5, 2024, 04:21:59 (UTC)

SpaceX rocket gets momentum shift UnNews Logo Potato.png

10 December 2020

As the craft is upright, this is the fiery launch, not the fiery touchdown.

BOCA CHICA, Texas -- A test rocket fired by SpaceX finally had all the momentum go its way, until suffering a momentum shift at the end of the flight.

The unmanned flight was designed to go eight miles high, do a U-turn and return to earth, maneuver into the belly-flop position, then say, "Just kidding!" and right itself and land vertically. Little could go wrong with that. However, during the final phase, the craft was enveloped in spectacular green and yellow flames and destroyed. The grand finale was enjoyed by many spectators outside this South Texas town, some of whom toasted marshmallows.

SpaceX has many plans for the rocket, possibly including passenger travel anywhere on earth within an hour, which would require solving the fiery-explosion phase. It also envisions using the rocket to set up a permanent colony on Mars, although this would require a complete redesign. This mission also raises legal and ethical questions, as there is no way to enforce the minimum-wage and full-disclosure laws on Mars. Moreover, there is a CNN International broadcast but the cosmos is still lacking a CNN Interplanetary.

SpaceX chairman Elon Musk attempted to lower expectations for the destroyed rocket, tweeting that "we never expected it not to blow up." As opposed to NASA, which tends to study rocket disasters, SpaceX prides itself on learning from fiery failures. Musk tweeted, "We may blow up a couple more, to learn even faster!" The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission will promptly open a new case to study if these messages constitute another attempt to manipulate the price of SpaceX stock.

Sources[edit]