UnNews:Sinn Fein attempt to legalise gay marriage

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3 May 2015

The Catholic Church are selling pro-gay marriage t-shirts.

BELFAST, Northern Ireland -- Sinn Féin, SDLP and the Alliance and Green Parties are attempting to pass a law in the Stormont Parliament which will allow same-sex couples to marry. This is proving a challenge as the two most hated parties in Northern Ireland, Sinn Fein and the SDLP, are trying to pass an anti-hate bill.

Same-sex marriage has been an issue that has caused deep controversy in the Stormont Parliament as Northern Ireland is a deeply religious country and trying to accommodate pedophilic rape into the definition of gay sex is proving difficult for the Catholic Church. Sinn Féin, Green Party, Alliance and SDLP voted in favour of the motion DUP, TUV and UKIP voted against with UUP remaining neutral which resulted in 47 votes for and 49 against the bill. This result is surprising as usually parties in Northern Ireland are very united when it comes to matters of religion.

Questions have been asked about why Sinn Féin, ironically full of anti-unionists, would be so keen to pass a bill that introduces a new type of union. One theory suggests that the IRA, Sinn Fein's predecessor, are actually an undercover gay rights group and Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness are actually having a gay affair. Another is that the Catholic Church has a devious new way of locating sinners. When Leader of Sinn Féin, Adams, was asked why his party is trying to pass the bill despite it failing multiple times he responded by saying, "It's them fecking DUPers being loyal to the fecking Queen and their fecking conservative Unionist shit." Reporters attempted to interview McGuinness but he was too busy shifting Gerry Adams.

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It seems that the only reason Sinn Féin have attempted to pass the bill was to win votes rather than do what is right for the people, which is what they claim they are trying to achieve. It has also been noted that the plan has backfired on Sinn Féin and SDLP as it is thought that Unionist LGBT people will turn to Alliance or Green or even the neutral UUP. Many die-hard conservative Catholic Nationalists have stated that they will not be voting for Sinn Féin this election until the producers of Father Ted face prosecution for the episode featuring Dougal and Ted sleeping in the same bed.

Will Sinn Féin pass yet another Bill? We will have to wait and see.