UnNews:New York Bans Niggers
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| New York Bans Niggers | 
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2 March 2007
New York -- New York's City Council has banned Niggers from the city, in an attempt to eradicate their use by Hip-Hop artists and young people.
A spokesman for the mayor, Michael Bloomberg, said:
- "We believe that the idea of Niggers is a racist echo of the bad old-days of the Civil War. So the only thing that a
vote-chasingahem I mean responsible and pro-active city government can do is to ban them all."
The move was greeted with enthusiasm by Realtors and Developers throughout the city, who looked forward to making a killing snapping up thousands of soon-to-be-deserted properties in Harlem, Queens, Brooklyn, Staten Island, and pretty much all over the City.
It also proved a popular move with certain ethnic groups - namely, Poor White Trash. Zeke-Bob Beaumont, spokesman for the National Association for the Advancement of Rednecks, was quoted as spitting out some chewing tobacco and saying:
- Ah'm as happy as a hog in a bog dat dem cornswogglin' carpetbaggin' politishuns in City Hall done run dem varmints out of town, yessiree! Dem Afr-I-cans were stealin' all de five-dollar-an-hour jobs from respectable folks like me, leavin' me sittin' on ma porch drinking Bud all day. Now I can sit on ma porch all day drinking' Bud all day with the satisfaction that I have a job to go to if I want to. Which I don't, yessiree!"
However the move has proved deeply unpopular with Rappers, Gangstas, Hustlers, Pimps, Playas, Rollers, translators of Ebonics, etc, who have all been effectively been banned from New York. Actor Samuel L. Jackson was quoted as saying:
“I've had it with these motherfucking bans in this motherfucking city!”
Meanwhile, there has also been opposition from white liberal academics throughout the city. One complained bitterly:
- "I resent this bitterly intrusive move by the city Government of New York. Indeed, I used to employ a Nigger as my step-'n-fetch carrier, but now he's left me I'm going to have to go to the trouble of finding someone else."