UnNews:New Land Before Time film 'set to be darker'

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard UnNews Wednesday, July 24, 2024, 08:20:59 (UTC)

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29 November 2006

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Littlefoot ignores the Longneck tribe's advice and starts eating hallucinogenic twigs.

HOLLYWOOD, California - Veteran animator Don Bluth has unveiled his vision for the latest Land Before Time dinosaur film to a packed press room filled with reporters. Although, to be fair, the press room was extremely small and calling it 'packed' without mentioning this may give a misleading impression. And a lot of people there, maybe 40%, were not reporters. Don Bluth himself counted for 20% of the people there.

Bluth stated that as the original Land Before Time was released in 1988, so many of the fans will have aged somewhat, 'possibly even into their teens', and that the series had to grow 'more mature' to keep pace with a changing audience. With this in mind, the new film will be darker, grittier, edgier and more in tune with today's disaffected, society-hating youth.

According to Bluth, the new film, provisionally titled Land Before Time XIII: The Yawning Abyss of Unimaginable Evil, will bring the series bang up to date. 'I suppose this film is about change, renewal, rebirth and awakening. There will be loss, but also joy', he said, whilst stroking his pet iguana, which scratched 60% of the people in the press room.

The new film will feature several developments likely to provoke controversy, including:

  • an alien invasion
  • the death of two major characters
  • swearing
  • the main character Littlefoot noticing girl dinosaurs for the first time.

As Bluth explained: 'Obviously, there's a limit to how far we could take the romance angle. Whilst Littlefoot has been friends with Cera the Triceratops for a long time, we didn't feel that the audience was ready for steamy love scenes between different species of dinosaur.' With this in mind, a new girl Apatosaurus named Bigthighs has been created especially for the film. 'You don't actually see anything, if that's what you're wondering,' said Bluth with a wink, adding 'You'll have to get the special edition DVD for that'.