UnNews:Nations commemorate Queen with inconveniences
| Where man always bites dog | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Saturday, December 21, 2024, 17:54:59 (UTC) |
| Nations commemorate Queen with inconveniences | 
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15 September 2022
STEAK-ON-TRENT, United Kingdom -- McDonald's announced it is closing all its U.K. restaurants during the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II on September 19.
A spokesperson for the chain said, "We want to allow our people to pay their respects in the way they choose. (Except by spending your pay as you see fit, 'cause you aren't getting any.)"
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| All 1300 #McDonalds are shut on Monday. Pass over the Quarter Pounder with Cheese, honour the Queen with a plate of #BangersAndMash |
Those who need a chocolate shake and a Filet O'Fish must wait until 5 p.m., when the corporation snaps out of it and the shops suddenly reopen. The spokesperson did not say if they will put on a breakfast shift at that time.
Britain has already declared the day a Bank Holiday, banks never needing much reason to shut. It is not, however, a Car Wash Holiday or a Boot Fair Holiday.
In Canada, a fellow Commonwealth country already scrambling to remove Her Majesty's likeness from its money, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau declared September 19 a holiday. Canadians who do not honour the Queen will presumably be rounded up, have their pets kicked, and have their bank accounts frozen.
Trudeau left further inconveniences to the provinces. Ontario Premier Doug Ford would not give provincial employees the day off, as he had just smoked a particularly large splib, but did declare a minute of silence, the better to hear a short speech he had prepared. However, B.C. has closed schools and given workers the day off. Nova Scotians will commemorate the funeral with a normal day, all the menfolk gathered at the dinner table and getting drunk.
Sources[edit]
- Chris Tomlinson "McDonald’s to Close All UK Locations on Queen’s Funeral to Allow Employees to Pay Respects". Breitbart, September 14, 2022