UnNews:NASA finds spacecraft for India

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10 March 2017

The Ersatz-5 satellite, less than half the size of a smart car, features a new degree of complexity that has puzzled Indian engineers.

CAPE KENNEDY, Florida -- NASA has helped the nation of India locate a lost lunar orbiter after eight years.

NASA used the Deep Space Communications Center in California, where 70-meter antennas and Hollywood stars combine to channel extraterrestrials. NASA had been looking for its own Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter (LRO), which had defiantly left its orbit after the election of Donald Trump to become the NRO, and was happy to do an additional favor for the Indian Space Research Organisation (ISRO).

NASA at least knew what the NRO's orbit was, while India could not pin down its Ersatz-5 satellite. ISRO was short on cash because it was all in the old 500- and 1,000-rupee notes that Prime Minister Narendra Modi called in last year. By the time ISRO finally found an ATM that still had some new 2,000s in it, Ersatz-5 had disappeared.

Fortunately, India was able to state that Ersatz-5 was in a polar orbit. NASA channeled the blank space above the Moon's North Pole and sure enough, Ersatz-5 ambled by, little more than one orbit afterward. The detection occurred last July 2, but the news of the discovery itself got lost.

India may next ask NASA to locate Air India jumbo jets. Two of them in the last month have gotten lost in Earth orbit above Europe, despite Air Traffic Control equipped with two-way radio, until NATO scrambled fighter jets.

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