UnNews:May declares war on Europe

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard ✪ UnNews ✪ Sunday, December 22, 2024, 23:45:59 (UTC)
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4 May 2017

Theresa Winston Churchill May.

LONDON, United Kingdom -- Britain should "prepare for war," warns Prime Minister Theresa May, following a meeting with the European Union leaders last week. Standing in the road outside No.10, May outlined her plans.

"I have come to the conclusion that a War against the European Union will help support my Brexit plans. This was a tough decision, but I believe a drone attack on Brussels will rally the country around me. This war will be in the National Interest and as a result, I will declare a State of Emergency."

May gave her speech in her best Winston Churchill outfit. To cheers from her supporters (opponents were kept well away), May said that, after meeting Herr Juncker and Frau Merkel, Britain had "no option" but to go for a first strike against the country's enemies. This will involve kicking the tyres of German-made cars and throwing "French muck" into the River Thames.

"I have also spoken to President Donald Trump, who says he is 150% behind my decision to start a war. He has promised to join a conflict in two years' time."

The British General Election will go ahead, but those who oppose "National Interest Candidates (Conservative Party)" will be taken into protective custody, or as it normally called, prison. May has confirmed she will assemble an international coalition for the war, as she has received full support from Turkey, Saudi Arabia and the Philippines.

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