UnNews:Ford announces steering-wheel innovation

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The news outlet with approval higher than Congress ✪ UnNews ✪ Saturday, December 21, 2024, 18:03:59 (UTC)
Ford announces steering-wheel innovation UnNews Logo Potato.png

25 November 2014

Simplicity in engineering is an overrated concept that is out-of-date.

DETRIOT, Michigan -- Ford has announced a new design for the steering wheel in the 2015 Edge crossover. "Adaptive steering" will change the steering ratio depending on the car's speed. It will make the car easier to turn in the parking lot, and harder to flip over on the expressway.

Adaptive steering uses an electric motor and gearing in the steering wheel to make the adjustments. Raj Nair, Vice President for product development, said "Basically, we have turned the steering column into a large power drill aimed at the driver."

The innovation is a collaboration between Ford and Takata, the notorious vendor whose air bags emit metal shards and have been called "live grenade air bags" by the same amateur product engineers who invented other persuasive terms like "Frankenfood" and "global warming." However, there have been no insinuations of any defects in the new steering columns, as there have been no sales of any 2015 Edges — the latter because it is still 2014.

Go to the Front Page
UnNews Senior Editors are currently furiously fact-checking this related article:

Blaser gets Nobel Prize for cup-holder

If the electric motor should fail, Mr. Nair stressed, the steering wheel will not steer the car itself, but will safely lock up. "Seriously, what could go wrong?" he added.

Sources[edit]

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=UnNews:Ford_announces_steering-wheel_innovation&oldid=6072110"