UnNews:Facebook buys unused plastic fork for $2Bn

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

We distort, you deride UnNews Tuesday, June 6, 2023, 19:18:59 (UTC)

Facebook buys unused plastic fork for $2Bn UnNews Logo Potato.png

10 April 2012

Campaigning on Facebook is not only easier than taking to the streets, it's more meaningful

NEW YORK, USA -- Social network giant Facebook have had a busy day in the market place after swooping in on an unused plastic fork. The two billion dollar move, will see a fork - meant for utilisation in a takeaway pasta salad - destined to become another part of the company’s folio.

The unexpected move has been seen by some technology analysts as a sign of yet another tech bubble bursting:

“There’s no way this plastic fork is worth that amount of money,” PC World editor Bill Stool said today. “The nature of a plastic fork is it is only designed for one maybe two meals at most.”

Other analysts were more generous; with many speculating the purchase of the utensil will raise Facebook’s value over the magic 100 billion dollar mark.

Not content with a single purchase, Facebook further announced it is to buy a computer program written by a nine year old in 1985. The four hundred million dollar purchase of the program written by George Redbrick in Quick BASIC, repeatedly prints the words “Your an idiot” down the screen.

Explaining how he came up with the innovative application, Redbrick commented, “I wrote it for my sister and she showed her friends. I never realised it would get such a wide exposure.”

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerburg was excited about the new purchase. “With each repetition of ‘Your an idiot’ being displayed in a different colour – to a maximum of eight – this program caters for just about everyone’s favourite hue.”