UnNews:England wins the Hooligan final at Wembley

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14 July 2021

English Hooligan athletes in top shape and ready to fight.

LONDON, United Kingdom -- English hooligans are celebrating another win at the Euro 2020 Football fighting competition. In a close match involving bottles, chairs, security barriers and racist chanting against a weaker Italian contingent at Wembley Stadium, fans of hooligan matches say England won the battle "easily." Whilst their team were losing a game of football, England's army of aggressive half-naked men ran out the winners yet again. Football may not come home, but organised violence did.

"It was a great match," said former politician Nigel Farage. "Our boys, tanked up with lager gave those Italians one hell of beating. It was great fun, a victory for Brexit too. Shame about the game, but what can you do if you invite a lot of cheating foreigners to show us how to play our game? A bottle in the face is too good for them."

England's fans have been regular winners of the European and World Cups for hooligans. Their last major outing was in the World Cup staged in Russia in 2018. They were beating the Russians until President Vladimir Putin sent in troops to take on the English fans.

Hooligans are looking forward to their next big international fighting competition in 2022 at the Qatar World Cup. They will be at a disadvantage, as it will be hard to find alcohol in the strictly Islamic state. Fans said, though, that they would "make the best of it" and are looking forward to more punch-ups next year.