UnNews:Dressmaker vetoes new First Lady

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Where man always bites dog UnNews Thursday, November 21, 2024, 11:11:59 (UTC)

Dressmaker vetoes new First Lady UnNews Logo Potato.png

5 December 2016

A triumphant Ms. Theallet.
A shaken Ms. Trump.

NEW YORK CITY -- Fashion designer Sophie Theallet declared she would not stoop to repair any wardrobe malfunction by the unelected yet popular Melania Trump.

"I and others like me threw our utmost support into the campaign of the person who would have made history as it should be made. We envisaged a new wave of pantsuits for America. Instead, this woman, intelligent, educated, and beautiful though she may be, is the wife of that pussy-grabbing troglodyte.

"No, mere money will not tempt me to add Ms. Trump's couture to my voluminous CV. Besides, not only is the demographic pyramid getting top-heavy, an obesity epidemic will soon see hordes of women begging me to make them look younger and slimmer, or at least richer."

Other designers fell in line behind Ms. Theallet, without actually going into marching mode, at least until recounts in Michigan and Wisconsin are in.

However, Ottongo Siderialis, a rising star in the celebrity fashion world, said he admires Mme. Theallet for being infallible on social justice, but that the ring of the cash register is a siren call that is ignored at one's peril. "As soon as Melania turns up at public events, you can bet the farm that whatever she wears will sell out in half an hour, even if bought at Walmart. The sensible thing is to keep doing what we have always done: Say the right thing and take care of business. Social justice doesn't pay the rent."

Sources[edit]