UnNews:Cardi B shows her cards

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures! UnNews Tuesday, June 6, 2023, 19:31:59 (UTC)

Cardi B shows her cards UnNews Logo Potato.png

16 February 2019

February fashion. What's next for Cardi B?

NEW YORK, NY, USA -– Singer Cardi B announced that due to the outpouring of massive fan approval of changes to her look, she would roll out a totally new outfit and theme for every holiday from now on. Her Groundhog Day ensemble was considered rather conservative but still gained her points for using fake fur and brought her many additional fans in the ranks of the furry community. Many fans have already adopted the "Rodent Rascal" look now being seen around New York City. Her boldly colored Valentines Day makeover received rave reviews and is said to largely be the inspiration to carry on the idea.

Fans worry that she will not be able to have sufficient time for the upcoming National Crab Racing Day, but spokespeople have stated that "Cardi B has been planning this for a long time, so no worries. And not to be a tease, but I think you're all really gonna like her thing for Dog Biscuit Day." The spokesperson continued, "The only problem is that this year is not a leap year, but if she can get enough legislators on board to add it by the end of this month or the next, you'll all be in for something truly special."

The singer/rapper has asked Nicki Minaj for the return of her shoe as it will be needed for her upcoming St. Swithin's Day outfit. Neither Ms. Minaj nor several high-fashion shoemakers were available for comment at presstime.

Her critics say that her Groundhog Day ensemble was a riff off typical Chicago winter wear but concede that what they saw could have been real giant groundhogs.