UnNews:Bush will serve as a troop in Iraq
| Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Tuesday, November 5, 2024, 12:19:59 (UTC) |
| Bush will serve as a troop in Iraq | 
|
28 January 2007
Washington DC - Yesterday, at a speech, President George W. Bush made a surprising decision, announcing he would resign from office to serve as a soldier in Iraq to help the Iraqi people fight for their freedom. He did this to take responsibility for going into Iraq, a war, even he agrees, never should have happened.
At the speech, George Bush admitted he was a horrible President for ignoring the lessons learned from Vietnam, and entering the country he swore to protect in yet another un-winnable war. "I apologize for not sitting in lunch detention to those who asked me for an exit strategy before I directed the military to invade, and that I called them unpatriotic."
Still, George Bush continues to maintain that "This is an important war, and the people don't yet realize the full effect of our losing it."
Bush has not served in the Military for over 30 years, and admits he is "a little rusty". At the speech, he was practicing loading, aiming, and firing pistols, aided by Dick Cheney. He accidentally shot a Secret Service member in the face.
George Bush began his two year tour of duty today, and grew angry and confused when he didn't see a McDonalds within walking distance. An experienced marine said "This is Iraq. We're not fat and spoiled like Americans."
References[edit]
 |
This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent. |