UnNews:Bill O'Reilly compares Chicago to Haiti

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27 January 2010

Poor negro children in Haiti, whom led Bill O'Reilly to believe it was Chicago.

LONG ISLAND, New York - Speaking at his "Bold & Fresh Tour" with companion Glenn Beck on Saturday, FOX News journalist Bill O'Reilly compared the South Side of Chicago to the earthquake-damaged Haiti.

As a well thought-out argument against Obama and government spending, O'Reilly stated, "I'm seeing a guy who's very, very committed to government. Obama really believes the government's going to solve the problems, and I don't know how that's possible. Haiti never gets any better no matter how much money you put in there because they don't have a system."

He then proceeded to put his $200 shoe in his mouth. "If you've ever been to the South Side of Chicago, I mean, it's a real fucking shithole. Am I right? It's just like Haiti. The exact spitting image. In fact, I thought I was doing a report on Chicago when the newsroom first sent me photos of those poor negro children in Haiti."

Within hours, O'Reilly received angry emails from his Chicago viewers. Both of them. O'Reilly shot back with, "Oh come on, I didn't say anything that everyone wasn't already thinking. That area of Chicago is America's armpit. Well, one of them, the other being Detroit. If you people weren't elitists, you'd see this."

No word yet from any Haitian O'Reilly viewers, who would presumably take offense from being compared to Chicago.

President Obama, who lived and community organized in the South Side for several years, was asked to respond to O'Reilly's comments. "Bill O'Reilly might be a blowhard, but he's 100% correct on this issue," he said. "For far too long, America has ignored the needs of it's malnutritioned child. As of today, I'm calling for aid to be delivered to the city."

An estimated $300 million check has been given from the federal government to ACORN for disaster relief.