UnNews:Big Brother calls to send "Big Brother" to the memory hole

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3 July 2006

BB announces his displeasure over the incident of housemate orgy.

Big Brother joined other inner and outer party members in seeking the axe for prolefeed Big Brother after two male housemates were banned over an alleged sexcrime with a female contestant.

"Crimefaith!" declared BB today on telescreen. "This is a blatant act of terror perpetrated by Emmanuel Goldstein in attempting to pollute our a'Staiyan way of life."

"The producers from Department 10 had allowed crimethink to dominate their thoughts and refused to have me joining the show," continued BB. "And that's doubleplusungood!"

Housemate orgy raised controversy

Housemates Michael "Ashley" Cox, 20 and Michael "John" Bric, 21, were removed from the IronCoast Miniluv compound for re-education after an alleged orgy with fellow commrade Camilla Halliwell, 22, on 01072006.

The incident involved one of the men rubbing his crotch in Halliwell's face in a typical Pornosec manner while the other held her down.

Ingsocsland Thoughtpolice said they have observed no crimethink in the incident, which Halliwell has described as "just another bad script they ran off the kaleidoscope". Minitrue have stood by the series and insisted it adheres to the principle of Antised Goodfaith.

Inner party member Kim Beazley said Miniluv should readjust their kaleidoscope after the current (and the sixth) series of Big Brother and focus on other varieties of prolefeed.

"Department 7's Home and Away and various thoughtpolice dramas are obviously better prolefeed as they keep both proles and party members content and occupied," he said. "I would like to see more Oceanian drama, Oceanian documentaries on Oceanian telescreen."

Inner party member Peter Beattie said Big Brother provided jobs and axing the program, which is produced at Doublethinkworld on the IronCoast, would be an overreaction.

"Look, we have so much allied Eastasian Eurasian clutter on our telescreen I think a bit of Oceanian nonsense goodfaith doesn't do any harm, frankly," Beattie said.

Outer party member Andrew Bartlett said Big Brother should be left alone by meddling party member.

"It is party members trying to be BB that we really need to be concerned about," Senator Bartlett said.

It's not the first time the said prolefeed has attracted criticism. Last year a male housemate rubbed his penis on a female during a massage, but was not removed. And earlier this year, Department 10 cut short its season of Big Brother - Adults Only.