UnNews:Argentina goes off the deep end

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8 December 2023

Chainsaw politics

BUENOS AIRES, Argentina -- Argentina's new president, Javier "El Loco" Milei, is a fan of the chainsaw approach to politics. He promises to take a radical approach to governing by cutting the state back and adopting the U.S. dollar as the national currency. Milei is the Tucker Carlson of South America. This month's election of the wild-haired Milei has been celebrated by every other wild-haired politician in the world. To-wit, wild-haired U.S. President Donald Trump has expressed an intention to attend Milei's inauguration, although by then he may have to gain the approval of his parole officer.

El Loco campaigning

Milei's other promises include arming the populace, banning abortion and allowing people to sell off their own body organs. In addition, he wants to invade Brazil and take the Falkland Islands from the United Kingdom if his economic policies go badly. In that case, the career of the comedian-turned-politician may parallel that of the pornstar-turned-politician over in the other hemisphere.

Milei won a runoff election against Finance Minister Sergio Massa. Whatever the faults of U.S. "Bidenomics", the dollar did not suffer the 150% annual inflation that Massa's regime foisted on Argentina. However, observers in the Americas note that Milei's job is not done. For one thing, his party controls only seven members of the Congress, and four of them are non-voting student messengers. For another, the trade union is certain to call a nationwide strike over Milei's policies. Finally, the banking industry has pre-emptively announced that Milei's policies spell the end of life on Earth "as we know it" — and we know what their counterparts did to Liz Truss. It may be fortuitous that Milei is ready to "bring a chainsaw to a knife-fight".

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