UnNews:Amnesty International unfriends Uganda

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1 January 2011

President Museveni says he's "tired of Uganda being poked by imperialist Western Nations".

KAMPALA, Uganda -- In what is being described as the biggest online bust-up since China and Tibet changed their relationship to "It's Complicated," Amnesty International has censured the Republic of Uganda through Facebook, citing its recent human rights abuses and tagging of "a really unflattering photo of us."

While many have expressed shock at the unfriending, calling for a more conventional letter-writing campaign or "at least a critical tweet," Amnesty claims the rising costs of candles and barbed wire, as well as Uganda's repeated refusal to stop spamming it with Naughty Gifts invitiations, have forced the online issue.

"We don't cull our friends list willy-nilly like some activist organisations," said Amnesty spokesperson Amanda Hawkins. "We're maintaining relationships with Afghanistan, Bahrain, Burma... even Australia for the time being, although we are keeping an eye on this 'boat people' thing."

In response, Ugandan president Yoweri Museveni issued a status update, condemning the action as "a cowardly assault from a patronising, imperialist Western organisation who no-one likes anyway. Oh, and btw, I ROFLED at Nigeria's status lol. Anywayz, ttyl guys."

The status was immediately "liked" by Iran, the Democratic Republic of the Congo and, of course, the aforementioned Nigeria.

A mutual friend of the feuding parties, speaking on condition of confidentiality, claims Uganda has sent another friend request to the non-government organisation, but Amnesty "refuses to click 'Confirm' until the tacit support of militant groups like al-Shabab comes to an end."

In the wake of the unfriending, World Vision has struck out at Amnesty, stating, "The only way to move forward with these recalcitrant nations is to keep them engaged in a dialogue. Once we helped Uganda rescue a lonely brown cow on Farmville, they were more inclined to accept our aid."

Nevertheless, Amnesty International and Uganda remain connected on LinkedIn, with observers reporting neither party has logged into the service since 2006.


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