UnNews:Agamemnon: Greece's economy can recover

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16 June 2015

Agamemnon:"We're not budging from Troy".

TROY, Ancient Greece -- Greek King Agamemnon says he is confident that a deal with Troy can be arranged following a ten-year austerity regime suffered by his Greek army besieging the city. The long-running dispute followed the Trojans taking Helen Queen of Sparta as a collateral payment for an earlier loan taken out by the Greeks to recompense for earlier damage inflicted on Troy by Heracles in a dispute about olive oil shipments.

Agamemnon said:

We have been here for a decade arguing whether we should bring back Helen or go back home and see our wives. These ten years long of austerity, sitting here outside the walls of Troy whilst they discuss our debt crisis to Ancient Civilization, has been unnerving to the troops. We Greeks owe nothing to nobody, and if King Priam and those other Trojan bureaucrats don't give into our demand to sail away 'debt free,' we'll storm the city and do all those other unpleasant things that follow.

The Greek King said that the Trojan loot would help re-float the Greek economy but added that he had been talking to King Croesus of Moscow if the 'Troika' played financial hardball with him.

A guarded Odysseus added:

We Greeks have a back-up idea that involves an equine and a lot of wood. We're not shooting a porno film, in fact, but the end result will be equally spectacular.

Breaking Ancient News: Agamemnon to 'return home' for marriage guidance consultations with his wife Clytemnestra in the family bath.

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