UnNews:A cock in the ass, as the world doesn't end

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UnFair and UnBalanced UnNews Sunday, November 28, 2021, 21:23:59 (UTC)

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21 December 2012


Everywhere, Earth, Mllky Way, To infinity and beyond --

Well, what the heck. You know what? I guess the Mayans couldn't solve even a simple Apocalypse prediction! I expected the world to just plump up like that one bubblegum chick from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and just totally explode like something in a Michael Bay film! But no! Okay, I forced sex upon my ELA teacher, fled the country, and risked my life as a fugitive expecting death! But now I'm just gonna go to Hell, but first to jail.

So the lesson to be learned to day is that not always does one tell the truth. I guess the Mayans were an uneducated civilization after all. Maybe the world won't ever go away. So even our hundreds and hundreds of generations of descendants can witness the horrors of the world too!

What is that? I hear... cops?! Come out with my hands behind my back? Shit! Well see ya'll when I get out of jail! Byeeeee!

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.