UnNews:A-Rod Not Letting Baseball Get in His Way

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8 July 2008

Compromising photo of Rodriguez in his uniform.

NEW YORK, New York - In the midst of a challenging season, the Yankees are currently in third place behind the Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays, and dealing with a litany of injuries. While this has caused others to lose focus of what matters, Alex Rodriguez told the press today he isn't allowing the team to get in the way of himself. He said that he "wasn't phased in the slightest" by the resumption of the storied rivalry between the Yankees and Red Sox. Instead, keeping to true form, he had "spent considerable time" with longtime friend Madonna while simultaneously working through divorce filings with his estranged wife.

After giving reporters a tour of the high class strip club he was located in, he told them that he didn't think the game would "cause any major issues" for him. "I have been able to stay focused and have kept my head through it all. I understand it is all about me," he continued, while putting out a Cuban cigar on his assistants hand. When asked about reports that he would play in tonight's game against Tampa Bay, he quickly changed the subject and said he wasn't there "to talk about baseball."

Yankee Manager Joe Girardi commended Rodriguez for his commitment to himself. "Most other people would get caught up and distracted by the drama of the game," he said. "But like no other player in baseball and against all odds, A-Rod is able to put himself above the team."