UnBooks:The Three Weird Sisters are Alive and Well in Washington, DC

Purchased for UnLibrary on 11 July 2006

“Love those gals...”

~ Macduff on the Three Weird Sisters

“Umm....we're dead. And in the other play.”

~ Rosencrantz and Guildenstern on the Three Weird Sisters

The Three Weird Sisters are Alive and Well in Washington, DC

The classic 1966 edition cover.

SCENE I. Vietnam Veterans Memorial.

First Witch

Sister, see these names inscribed

Hereon; they fury imbibed

And drank overlong, their watch

Done; long life have they botched.

Second Witch

What sad lot, these adventurers caught

Always seeking aught for naught.

First Witch

Remember you that man Macbeth

He who sought Scot’s crown addressed?

Second Witch

I remember, do I, do I

Trapp’d him in a filthy lie

The only thing that I regret

Is we did not photos get.

Third Witch

Let us get on with our walk

No more need such useless talk.

SCENE II. The Lincoln Memorial.

First Witch

Where hast thou been, sisters?

Second Witch

Lost in Foggy Bottom.

Third Witch

Sister, where thou?

First Witch

A family man had oil on his hands,

And glutt’d, and glutt’d, and glutt’d:--

‘Share now,’ said I:

‘New Order, witch!’ the dynasty lord shouts.

His son’s to Texas gone, master o’ the Realm:

But like he of Bones and Skull,

I’ll make my way and take my cull,

I’ll do, I’ll do, and I’ll do.

Second Witch

Let me whip the mare.

Third Witch

Such sisterly care.

First Witch

Add my lash for luck.

Third Witch

And thank thee for thy sister’s hate

Now of this, that brood’s

Playground state, let not abate

Desire and fool games.

I’ll whisper in the son’s ear:

The father’s lust make him hear

Hang about that Office used;

Fate to live a man confused:

Hopeless through years two times four

Shall he dwindle, to the core:

An apple bit by the worm,

Son doomed by invader’s germ.

Look what I have.

Second Witch

Show me, show me.

First Witch

Here have I a tortured’s hood

From sand chamber as he stood.

Drum within

Third Witch

A drum! A drum!

Cheney doth come.

Enter CHENEY and BUSH.

Court photographer captures the tragic meeting.

Cheney

Rhetoric. Love-one.

Bush

How do you expect me to play this well?

Cheney

Do you think you are capable of playing well?

Bush

Have you considered that I’m more interested in what you think?

Cheney

When will you learn to think for yourself?

Bush

I do think for myself!

Cheney

Statement! Love-two.

Bush

What are these, dwarf-women?

Cheney

Who the hell knows?

Bush

Ah ha! Rhetoric. One-two.

Cheney

Damn! (clutches chest)

Bush

Foul. Heart attacks don’t count. Two-all.

First Witch

Fair sir, think you not

Your companion’s ail

Is truthfully bought?

Bush

He’ll be all right in a second. Happens all the time.

Cheney (relaxing)

Statement! Two to three.

Second Witch

Though now on vacation we

Bring to you a prophecy.

Bush

What’s a prophecy?

Cheney

Don’t you know?

Bush

Who carries a dictionary on loan?!

Cheney

When was the last time you were able to read an intelligence report on your own?

Bush

All right, Brainiac, stow—

Cheney

Gotcha! Statement! Gimme! Game!

Bush

I can’t believe I got you that new pacemaker.

Third Witch

Listen or block as you must

But take from our lips the thrust

You’ll be crown and you’ll be king

In long duet will you sing

But ’ware the excesses laid

For abuse at Abu Ghraib.

Witches vanish.

Cheney

Serious words, take serious care.

Bush

Yeah, well, who cares about some dumb witches?

Cheney

We’re not playing anymore.

Bush

One-love!

Exeunt.