UnBooks:My sojourn/Chapter 20

That time a bunch of youths made fun of my bald head during my sojourn to Bethel

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It pretty much went down like this, only fucking psycho.

Dude, those fucking little children were pure evil. Like, WTF?

So there I was

walking along the road to Bethel, minding my own business, doing my prophet thing, working wonders, trying to convert everyone to Yahweh, right? Like, with real badass miracles and shit,

and these youths

come out of town, all hyped-up and wicked from Baal-worshipping or boredom or something, and they immediately start making fun of my bald head! They were all like, "Go up, thou bald head! Go up, thou bald head!"

so I turned around

and looked at the little shits, and called out a curse upon them in the name of Yahweh

and then these two she bears

come out of the woods and rip 42 of them to shreds! Hallelujah! Make my day!

I went on up to Mount Carmel without a scratch on my body but with a wicked nice suntan.

No, seriously. I, the great prophet Elisha, nearly let some little punks get away with mocking my bald head.

See also

• That time I was nearly raped by Ham after my sojourn through the deluge
• That time I nearly ran out of loaves and fishes during my sojourn in Bethsaida

This page was originally sporked from 2 Kings 2:23-25.

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