The General Public

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"You cannot escape the General Public!"

~ Oscar Wilde on The General Public

What is The General Public?[edit]

Is this General Public?

The General Public is a secret terrorist organization that has killed more people than all the other terrorist organizations combined. It is very dangerous because its weaponry is as advanced as the latest high-tech gadgets developed by the United States government. Spies from The General Public are everywhere. It is very possible that one of your closest friends could actually be a General Public agent.

How many people are involved in the General Public?[edit]

Just over 6 billion people are members of The General Public, and that number just keeps on increasing. Many efforts have been made to decrease this number, but none have been successful, such as birth control and partial birth abortion.

Organizations that combat The General Public[edit]

Many organizations have been founded to combat The General Public, but Al-Qaeda has been the most prominent. Al-Qaeda, whose name means "tranquility" in Arabic, operates mainly in the Middle East. It has made many successful stands against the evils of The General Public, and that has caused The General Public to take precautions when dealing with it. However, Al-Qaeda has recently become ineffective due to the lack of funds from the United States and other government

How can I help combat The General Public?[edit]

One way that many people have done over the last several years is join Al-Qaeda.

History of The General Public[edit]

6000 BC: Adam founds The General Public.

Circa 4000 BC: Civilization begins. The General Public proves to be a menace to it.

1st Century AD: Julius Caesar is murdered by an alleged member of The General Public.

1865: American President Abraham Lincoln is assassinated by an alleged member of The General Public.

1963: American President John F. Kennedy is assassinated by an alleged member of The General Public.

1975: Al-Qaeda is founded to combat the evils of The General Public.

2001: The War on Terror begins.

2019: The War on Terror ends.

Little-known facts about The General Public[edit]

  • the General Public will instantaneously behead anyone who does not capitalize the "t" in the General Public.
  • the General Public has killed more of its own members than non-members.
  • the General Public controls all the salt mines in the world.
  • Approximately 100% of all prisoners in U.S. jails are members of The General Public.
  • Almost all of the crimes in the world have been committed by members of The General Public.
  • The General Public is responsible for all traffic congestion; there is a well-co-ordinated conspiracy to block the roads every time you are late for work
  • The General Public is an infallible source of Roller Coaster information. They know full well that Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit can not be topped.

Is George Bush a member of The General Public?[edit]

Many people speculate that the beloved President of the United States is a member of The General Public. This has yet to be proven. However, it is known as a fact that former British Prime Minister Tony Blair is an alleged former member of The General Public.

Related Links[edit]