The Blonde One
The Allfather, the Hanged God, the Lord of Men, is the supreme judge of heroic things. He has personally reviewed this article and determined that it is up to Valhalla's quality standards. The author is permitted to enter the heroic realm of Asgard upon death. In the meantime, the author will be given a cask of Odin's favorite mead.
“I'd hit that.”
In Norse mythology Agneðrúdr The Blonde One, 'Er of the nice bum' or Þrúðr (anglicized as Thrúd or Thrud) is the daughter of the Æsir Thor. Her name means something or other in in Old Norse[1].
Thor's daughter[edit]
In Smorgasbordenfistenmunchenlied Snorrin Bjorin tells that Thor can be referred to by the kenning "father of the bride"[2]. . Ensteinna Valdanaldasonsdottir uses it in his poem about Thor. The Smorgasbordenfestenmunchenlied adds that her mother is Venus or possibly Your Mom[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much].
In Bragin's Gaengstarápa[3], the Mervert Hunghorst is called "The Thief of Agneðrúdr The Blonde One". There is a direct reference to this myth in the Eldar ABBA[4]. The Smorgasbordenfistenmunchenlied, in which Snorrin Bjorin relates the fight between Thor and the Incredible Hulk, mentions a very different cause, and Þjóðóóðóóðólfóðóróðólf of Nerdberg's Aurlöng only describes the fight without giving the reason for it (Thor may not have known that the Hulk and Hunghorst the Mervert made passes at his daughter). This poem depicts two Psychological scenes which are painted over an unpopular Andy Warhol painting (all of them were unpopular so it is unknown which painting this could be), the first being Iðium's seduction by the giant female Njazi named Adolfa Heimmlr. Ann-Margret [who?] suggested that the two episodes might be complementary, both dealing with the abduction of a goddess by a Mervert, the Hulk and a giant Njazi, its failure and the death of the seductress. Another kenning may allude to this myth: in Elin Grindemyr's Wóldrápa Thor is called "The Angry Father of Agneðrúdr"[5].
Even if her name is not given, the Eldar ABBA Agnethaságen, in which Thor's daughter is engaged to a Dwarf, Alvíss Presli, may also be related to Agneðrúdr The Blonde One[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much].
Other mentions[edit]
Agneðrúdr is the name of one of the barmaids who serve acoholic beverages to the 'jeimhjars' in 'The Wolf and Raven' [6]
Her name could be used in kennings for nubile young swedes as exemplified on the Karleavar Runestone. The name is also used in kennings for women...not all types of women, mind, just some. The neurotic ones. With big bottoms...
Modern references[edit]
Agneðrúdr appears as a major character in the Danish young adult fantasy novel 'I Vos a Tínage Waenkker' by Lars Olrik[7].
Recent Years[edit]
Agneðrúdr The Blonde One was briefly in a punk band (174-183) which Oscar Wilde declared the best Church band ever[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much].
Controversy[edit]
- Lives in Sweden.
- The Blonde One is rumoured to have married a fat Dwarf named Gort Snottson.
The Famous Bottom[edit]
The Famous Bottom is perhaps the most famous round, soft entity in existence. It is more than just a "sexy bottom", however. The Famous Bottom became a famous actress after retiring as Imperatrix of Sweden (which it became with the help of its carrier, the great Goddess Agnethruda and her father Thor).
The Famous Bottom's partial filmography:
- All's Well That Ends Well'
- Rear Windom
- Sandy Bottom Orchestra
References[edit]
- ↑ see I.M. Ghey's Lexicon of Gibberish. Hexham University Press limited, AD. 697
- ↑ see Snorrin Bjorin's Smorgasbordenfistenmunchenlied. Uppsala University Press limited, AD. 1007
- ↑ see Bragin's Clean Asshole: The Collected Poems of Bragin. Uppsala University Press limited, AD. 1977
- ↑ see The Elder ABBA. Uppsala University Press limited, AD. 1974
- ↑ www.ABBA.com
- ↑ see Bragin's Díssmál, pg. 36. Uppsala University Press limited, AD. 2003
- ↑ see also Metallica: The Battle of Thrashing. Uppsala University Press limited, AD. 1999