Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/September 25

Rare image of the invention of alcohol.

September 25: Pastafarian New Year's Eve

• 10,000 BCE - Alcohol is invented in Ireland.
• 75 BCE - Julius Caesar assembles a small army to punish the prophet Mosey for ransoming him at too low a cost.
• 20 CE - God invents Grues to punish Jews who persecuted Jesus.
• 879 - Vikings find the word "Viking" offensive. They change their names to Berserkers.
• 1833 - A meteor shower destroys Paris. Rioting ensues.
• 1936 - The great prophet Barry Foster is killed by an unplugged electric model tram whilst convening a Burns supper; he is subsequently devoured by his guests as part of the main course.
• 1992 - 10 AM - A young Tony Blair meets a one eyed Scotsmen and falls in love.
• 1992 - 1 PM - Tony realizes he's a dick and begins an elaborate 14 year plan to screw him and the country over when he leaves.
• 1999 - Britain's Millenium Dome is voted 'most useable structure' for the new millennium.
• 2007 - London Times ad: Large dome shaped roof for sale, little used, one careless owner – offers invited.
• 2009 - Cowboys owner Jerry Jones' head declared useless dome, sold at auction for $12.53 (US) (€ 9,000,402) for cookie fundraiser for new pool table.
• 2017 - Conservative Prime Minister David Cameron loses landslide to newly formed Conehead Party. Liberal Democrats enter into Liberal Conehead coalition government.
• 2017 - about 2 minutes later. David Cameron and Nick Clegg announce that they will divorce, as Nick "has a new bloke, and he is a Conehead!", a teary Cameron said.
• 2018 - Tony Blair and Gordon Brown announce that they will organize benefit conference for one eyed hot Scotsmen. Action heavily criticized by newly elected Conehead Party/Liberal Democrat coalition government.
• 2020 - Nick Clegg spontaneously explodes during a debate on debating debates. No one in the coalition notices. Clegg is named a master debater.