Ozzfest
Ozzfest is an outdoor music festival founded Lee Harvey Oswald and his husband, Patton Oswalt. Since its inception in 1996, Ozzfest has taken place primarily in Fred Durst's backyard, but exceptions include 1999, where it was held in his front yard, 2006, when it took place at his neighbor, Gerald's back yard, and 2012, when it was held at an undisclosed location.
History[edit]
Ozzfest was founded in 1996 to compete with Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede, which was, at the time, the most successful outdoor performance of any kind. Oswald was initially inspired to create an outdoor music festival when he saw The Dead Kennedys perform in Texas as a child. He realized that outdoor music festivals were the future, and inspired a wave of outdoor music festivals such as Gathering of the Juggalos, Burtreynoldsfest, and Woodstock. Soon after, outdoor music festivals became the largest export of the US economy.
Overview[edit]
Ozzfest is basically an orgy, but without the sex, and everyone is smoking meth. Sometimes music is playing. The Ozzfestivities begin with Jimmy Kimmel or some other irrelevant fuckwit singing the national anthem. Then Oasis performs, usually breaking up and reforming multiple times throughout the day. The festival ends when Fred Durst wakes up from his Ozzrest and calls The Police.
Controversy[edit]
After 9/11, many parents were concerned that Ozzfest would inspire their children to commit acts of terrorism similar to what Jay Leno did to late night television. Because of this, many television stations refused to air ads for Ozzfest until they agreed to let the Pope lead a prayer before they ate the Ozzfeast.
Recent years[edit]
In recent years, due to competition from outdoor festivals such as The Republican National Convention, Gwarped Tour, and Benghazi, Ozzfest has seen a sharp decline in attendance. However, there still remains a small, but very dedicated group of Ozzfest fans referring to themselves as Americans, who discuss Ozzfest on usenet forums like a bunch of fucking nerds.